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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.
#first #energy #australian #household #second #percentage #greenhouse #gas #emissions
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Two
Use synonyms
 pie charts provide
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 comparison between Australian household energy use and greenhouse gas
emissions
Use synonyms
 which result from
first
Correct article usage
the first
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 one. As demonstrated in
charts
Correct article usage
the charts
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,we can notice a difference between
Use synonyms
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 graphs,
as well as
Linking Words
a
Remove the article
apply
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some similarities.
There
Correct your spelling
These
show examples
Use synonyms
two
Add a missing verb
are two
show examples
 absolutely different
usage
Replace the word
uses
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 of heating,with 42
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in Australian household energy use and only 15
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in gas
emissions
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
fewer in almost 3
time
Change to a plural noun
times
show examples
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,there fourteen
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
refrigerations
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigeration
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 and eight
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of lighting in gas
emissions
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
twice as much as
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of energy. Another obvious difference we will notice is the cost of other appliances, with 15% in the first graph and 28% in the second graph, which is
also
Linking Words
 nearly
two
Use synonyms
times’
Change noun form
times
show examples
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
show examples
. In the meantime,there is no escaping of similarities,usage of cooling and water heating are nearly
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 in both schedules,2 and 30
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in power consumption of Australian households,and 3 and 32 in gaseous
emissions
Use synonyms
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words two, emissions, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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