The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate.

The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate.
the
two
pie charts
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
the outcome of a survey of
boys
and girls
activities
.
Overall
, the
two
sexes
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
enjoyed
listening
Add the preposition
listening to
show examples
the music
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the same level.
However
,
dramatically
Correct article usage
a dramatically
show examples
larger number of girls like reading. And show the many differences
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
sport preferring. Turning to the first chart, there given the information that the
boys
almost prefer computer games
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
activities
. Playing basketball
coming to
Verb problem
is
show examples
the second most popular leisure, played by almost
third
Correct article usage
a third
show examples
of
boys
.after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
basketball followed
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
soccer leisure
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
played by 17%. there
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
3 different types of
activities
that
placed
Add a missing verb
are placed
show examples
in the
less
Fix the agreement mistake
lower
show examples
grades they are skateboarding 11%, listening to music 10% and reading 3%. In the second pie chart given the
two
highest scores
except
Add the preposition
except for
show examples
the other mentioned
activities
. they are dancing and reading. Dancing receive
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
third of
a girls
Correct the article-noun agreement
girls
a girl
show examples
,
also
reading is a little bit less
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a 21%.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
,
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
of female children who play
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computer games is roughly less than that of
boys
16%. And the remaining
two
activities
with the lowest percentage are listening to music and netball.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words two, boys, activities with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey
  • cultural activities
  • leisure activities
  • participate
  • percentage
  • gender difference
  • similar participation rates
  • traditional gender roles
  • trends
  • impact
  • parental influence
  • extracurricular activities
  • accessible
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!