Children usually want to play the same games and watch the same tv programs as their friends. Should Parents allow it or not? Give your opinion and examples from your experience.

it is argued that young
children
are wanted
Wrong verb form
want
show examples
to play
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
old
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
and
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
show examples
that they already
watch
Wrong verb form
watched
show examples
over and over again, with their close
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
. In my opinion, I think
parents
should encourage them to do
want
Verb problem
apply
show examples
every
Correct pronoun usage
whatever
show examples
they want because obtaining
happy
Correct article usage
a happy
show examples
childhood is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
most significant
things
Correct the article-noun agreement
thing
show examples
.
Fist
Correct your spelling
First
show examples
of all, as
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
children
a child
show examples
children
they love to
involved
Add a missing verb
be involved
show examples
in their own world and they enjoy and
fascinate
Wrong verb form
are fascinated
show examples
to share
Change preposition
by sharing
show examples
their
treasure
Replace the word
treasured
show examples
moments and
things
, which they
tought
Correct your spelling
think
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
very engrossing to their friends who
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
really close to them. It is because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they have
passions
Correct article usage
the passions
show examples
to do
Change preposition
for doing
show examples
the same
things
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
the person
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
they love and
Add a missing verb
are confortable
show examples
confortable
Correct your spelling
comfortable
with,
that is
why they play and watch
they
Correct pronoun usage
what they
show examples
already done
Add the auxiliary verb
did
have already done
show examples
.
Thus
,
guardian
Add an article
the guardian
a guardian
show examples
should
rooting
Change the verb form
root
be rooting
show examples
their ideals rather than interrupted
sheerness
Correct article usage
the sheerness
show examples
childhood
Change preposition
of childhood
show examples
.
For example
,
parents
are always looking
things
Change preposition
at things
show examples
through
Correct article usage
the adults
show examples
adults
Change noun form
adults'
adult's
show examples
side,
then
they
neglecte
Correct your spelling
neglected
neglect
children
's feelings.
In
Change preposition
As
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
results
Fix the agreement mistake
result
show examples
,
cause
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adolescent
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
think that
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
do not
allowed
Wrong verb form
allow
show examples
them to do the
things
that they want to do again and again.
Secondly
,
parents
might
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
ought to give permission to video
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
repeately
Correct your spelling
repeatedly
since it can accelerate
children
's
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
to think more.
Beceuse
Correct your spelling
Because
when we
palying
Correct your spelling
play
or
watching on
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
one
things
Change to a singular noun
thing
show examples
, we can reward another perspective
base
Replace the word
based
show examples
on how much time
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
you
Correct pronoun usage
we
show examples
do
Verb problem
spend
show examples
it.
For example
, when you
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
a movie you perhaps
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
certain plots because of your weak
focusing
Replace the word
focus
show examples
or you misunderstood the dialogues but when you watch
second
Correct article usage
a second
show examples
time you might be well understand what they want to convey.
Therefore
,
this
is an
advantages
Change the noun form
advantage
show examples
of
do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
things
at least two to three times.
Hence
, to
stimulates
Wrong verb form
stimulate
show examples
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
curiosity,
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
should courageous their
children
to do the thing they prefer with the people they love. In conclusion, every
children
Change to a singular noun
child
show examples
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
parents
' rooting and
encouraging
Replace the word
encouragement
show examples
to achieve their friendship goals with
thier
Correct your spelling
their
ideas, and in their
confortable
Correct your spelling
comfortable
way.
This
is
also
the way that
parents
are protect
Change the verb form
protect
show examples
children's
Correct pronoun usage
their children's
show examples
childhood and they can play and watch freely.
Submitted by haixiuxiaonini on

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coherence cohesion
Try to clarify your main points and ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea.
accuracy
Work on your grammatical range and accuracy to avoid common errors such as spelling mistakes and subject-verb agreement issues.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments more effectively.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is essential for a well-structured response.
vocabulary
The writer attempts to use a range of vocabulary, which can be quite effective if used correctly.

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