Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is students must
study
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
and how to cook,
other view
Change the wording
another view
other views
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is that
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
should
study
school
lessons. It is undeniable that science
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all become an essential part of our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
there is no absolute agreement on whether students should
also
study
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
subjects related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
food
or
study
only
school
subjects. A commonly held
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
is that some
parents
think that if
child
Correct article usage
a child
show examples
wold
also
study
Change the verb form
studies
show examples
the science of
food
he will not be able to keep up with other lessons. As evidence of
this
they point to that
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
must only
study
without any unnecessary things.
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
parents
Change noun form
parent's
parents'
show examples
view is that at
such
an early age the child will not be able to learn and it will be hard for him to learn at the same time.
On the other hand
, some people claim that some
parents
want their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
to adapt to adult life from an early age.
For example
, they may mention
that
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a student
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will be left alone in some situations, he will be left alone without supervision, he will already know what
food
he will need, he will know what is possible and what is not and knows how to cook.
Therefore
, the
school
government can make it so that after
school
there is a lesson related to
food
and
parents
who wish can leave their children. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account I would argue that each
parents
Change noun form
parent's
show examples
view can help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their children
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
develop their skills.
School
Fix the agreement mistake
Schools
show examples
also
can do an additional lesson for those interested in the science of
food
 and cooking.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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task achievement
Make sure to fully develop your main points with detailed explanations and relevant examples, which will provide a stronger support for your argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by ensuring that each paragraph clearly supports and builds upon your main thesis. More concise and clear topic sentences may help guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the flow and cohesion of your essay by using a wider variety of linking words and phrases. This will help you to make clear and logical connections between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly presents both sides of the debate and sets up the discussion well.
task achievement
The conclusion nicely sums up the main points and offers a balanced view on the topic, suggesting how schools could potentially cater to different parental preferences.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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