IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Your local public library wants to make improvements to their services and facilities. In order to get ideas from the public, they have asked library users to send them suggestions in writing. Write a letter to the librarian. In your letter -describe what you like about the library - say what you don’t like - make suggestions for improvements

#library #improvements #services #facilities #users #suggestions #librarian #-describe #don’t
Dear librarian, writing
this
 letter to give some suggestions which can improve the services and facilities of the library. I have been a member of the library for the past two years and
happy
Add a missing verb
am happy
show examples
 with the services you guys provided mostly the membership reward point system that allows us to read more
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and emails that
shows
Change the verb form
show
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as
Change preposition
apply
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all the new releases.
However
Add a comma
However,
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 the washroom facilities are very bad and need to have a renovation. using the space in
garden
Add an article
the garden
a garden
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 area much more effectively by cleaning up the bushes and adding some tables and chairs for reading.
map
Add an article
the map
a map
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 at the reception will help as to move
quick
Change the word
quickly
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 to the
shelfs
Correct your spelling
shelf
shelves
. Hope
this suggestions
Change the determiner
this suggestion
these suggestions
show examples
 will add some value to the library. thanks
Submitted by christvmathew on

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coherence cohesion
The letter should start with a clear opening line that includes a greeting. For example, "Dear Librarian, I am writing to share some suggestions..."
task achievement
You have suitably described what you like and dislike about the library, as well as made suggestions for improvements. However, it could be more detailed.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph covers a single idea clearly. For example, separate paragraphs for what you like, your dislikes, and your suggestions.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of small language inaccuracies such as "using the space in garden area much more effectively". It would be clearer as "I suggest using the space in the garden area more effectively..."
task achievement
You clearly addressed the three required components: what you like, what you don't like, and suggestions for improvement.
task achievement
You used a polite and suitable tone throughout the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • extensive collection
  • resourceful
  • helpful staff
  • friendly assistance
  • tranquil atmosphere
  • comfortable environment
  • limited operating hours
  • restricted access
  • insufficient study spaces
  • quiet spot
  • extend the hours
  • accommodate
  • private study rooms
  • cater
  • digital resources
  • e-books
  • audiobooks
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