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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2000 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2000 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#graphs #information #computer #ownership #percentage #population #level #education #years #summarise #features #comparisons
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The bar graphs below provide details about the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 who own
computers
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 their level of education between 2000 and 2010. Units are measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
,
computer
Use synonyms
ownership
Use synonyms
 showed an upward trend throughout the period
while
Linking Words
ownership
Use synonyms
 by education level saw a similar rise. Despite
this
Linking Words
, the lowest number of
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 possessed
computers
Use synonyms
 was those with no high school diploma,
whereas
Linking Words
 the opposite was true with postgraduate degrees.
Initially
Linking Words
, 50% of
people
Use synonyms
 owned a
computer
Use synonyms
 in 2000,
whereas
Linking Words
 more than 75% owned one in 2010. The second most popular year for
computer
Use synonyms
ownership
Use synonyms
 was 2008 with more than 76% owning a
computer
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the percentage of
computer
Use synonyms
ownership
Use synonyms
 in 2002 and 2004 was almost the same (60% and 65%, respectively). A noticeable trend showed that the higher the education level the higher the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 owning
computers
Use synonyms
. Individuals with no high school diploma had the lowest rate for
computer
Use synonyms
ownership
Use synonyms
, which was approximately 25%,
while
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 with postgraduate degrees had the highest number of
computers
Use synonyms
 which was well over 75%.
Submitted by mraha409 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, computers, computer, ownership with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consistent increase
  • growing reliance on technology
  • clear correlation
  • digital divide
  • notable growth
  • most pronounced disparity
  • gap reduced considerably
  • percentage growth
  • higher educational levels
  • educational groups
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