IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Use the information and language from this lesson to answer this Writing Part 1 task. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below gives information about how people aged 25-34 are housed in the UK. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting on the main features,Do not give your opinion, just the facts and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

Use the information and language from this lesson to answer this Writing Part 1 task. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below gives information about how people aged 25-34 are housed in the UK. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting on the main features,Do not give your opinion, just the facts and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
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Nowadays,
people
 prefer a fast and more convenient lifestyle mostly
due to
 their work requirements.
This
 bar chart is
a
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proof that working or
other external factor
Change the wording
another external factor
other external factors
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 can make a big impact on how
people
 prefer their living
menthods
Correct your spelling
methods
. The bar chart revealed significant shifts in homeownership and renting trends among
people
 aged 25-34 in the UK between 2004 and 2014. Notably, the
percentage
 of
homeowners
 decreased
while
 the
percentage
 of
renters
 increased. Over the decade, the
percentage
 of
homeowners
 among
people
 aged 25-34 decreased,
while
 the
percentage
 of
renters
 increased.
This
 shift was so significant that by the end of the period,
renters
 had surpassed
homeowners
. The homeownership
rate
 was approximately 58% in 2004, which was about 30% higher than the
rate
 for
renters
.
This
rate
 dipped slightly to about 56% in 2006
,
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 and
then
 increased to 57% in 2007.
Overtime
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Over time
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, the
rate
then
 dropped significantly to almost 52% in 2011
,
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 and remained almost the same in 2012.
Finally
, it continued to decline steadily to about 36% by the end of the period. In 2004, about 20% of
people
 were renting, and
this
 increased to around 33% in 2005 before remaining consistent in 2006.
However
, over the next five years, the figure experienced significant steady growth, reaching around 41% in 2011. It remained stable in 2012 and
then
 surged to 47% in 2014, surpassing the
rate
 of
homeowners
.
Submitted by hanngoc0715 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, percentage, homeowners, renters, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 4 times.
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