In many countries, very few young people read newspapers or follow the news on TV. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is a fact that nowadays, the youngest population prefer
not
be informed of what Add the particle
not to
it
is happening in the world, whether Correct pronoun usage
apply
if
the format is by newspaper or TV. Personally, as a young person living in Correct word choice
apply
this
new generation, I absolutly
agree with Correct your spelling
absolutely
this
behaviour because the information provided is often negative.
Firstly
, we should analyze which reasons might be behind this
phenomenon. As our way of living has been changing, we utilize others
platforms to read or Correct quantifier usage
other
listening
to Wrong verb form
listen
contents
, Fix the agreement mistake
content
for example
, applications in
our phones Change preposition
on
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
a
Twitter, or Correct article usage
apply
Youtube
for videos. The trouble is that the resources of Correct your spelling
YouTube
this
information are not reliable. By
the other hand, we are getting to be unaware Change preposition
On
of
most information is not about positive things, and after reading or Change preposition
that
hearding
it, we feel upset and powerless, because we Correct your spelling
hearing
are not be
able to handle and change bad Change the verb form
are not
stuffs
. Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
Moreover
, we are concerned of
how we can achieve a successful Change preposition
about
live
.
Replace the word
life
Therefore
, finding
a possible solution, I suggest that outlet mediums could provide positive cases to make Change the verb form
to find
population
more Add an article
the population
a population
optimism
. Replace the word
optimistic
Otherwise
, the tendence
will Correct your spelling
tendency
be increased
and every time people will decide to not be informed. Wrong verb form
increase
For instance
, they would talk about success
of others, as an example that we can Add an article
the success
achive
everything we wish. Correct your spelling
achieve
However
, the Government might not be interested in this
and prefer that people work for them.
To summarise, there are Correct article usage
a wealthy
wealthy
of solutions to adapt and improve that correspond to the Government. Replace the word
wealth
Otherwise
, and as a result
, young people will continue with their actual preferences. In my opinion, both are right
solutionsCorrect article usage
the right
,
and in my personal case, I have decided to not read Remove the comma
apply
anymore
negative cases.Replace the word
any more
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task achievement
Your essay presents a complete response to the topic, and you have clearly addressed the causes and potential solutions. However, some ideas lack depth and need further development with more specific examples and explanations.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear, but ensure that all elements of the essay are fully developed. For instance, the part about feeling 'upset and powerless' could benefit from further elaboration. Also, the connection between young people's preferences and the provision of positive news stories needs to be made clearer.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and conclusion, which is good. Try to ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to improve overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is logically structured and flows reasonably well, there could be more focus on ensuring that ideas in each paragraph are closely related to the main topic sentence. Some sentences and phrases need rephrasing for better clarity and consistency.
structure achievement
You have addressed the topic well and provided a clear introduction and conclusion. This shows a good understanding of the essay structure.
task achievement
Your essay discusses both the causes and solutions, which demonstrates a comprehensive approach to the task.
coherence cohesion
The overall flow of the essay is logical, making it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
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