Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money

Whilst many think that individuals have to deal with uncomfortable situations by simply accepting that condition, I believe that it is more favourable for people to take

actions

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action

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when they

were

Wrong verb form

are

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in bad circumstances. On the one hand, some people advise their relatives who are experiencing unwanted situations to keep calm and let go of their emotional instability during hard times.

Although

there is no guarantee that situations will get better

off

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apply

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as time passes, others think that time will heal, so it is best to stay in their current position.

This

is because there are possibilities to face harder challenges after leaving their current surroundings.

For example

, employees with low salaries tend to stay at their current workplace

due to

being afraid of not getting higher-salary jobs.

However

, it is going to be much more preferable to start taking

actions

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action

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rather than hoping things to improve without doing anything. Creating action plans before leaving their difficult situation will not only be beneficial for

preparation

Correct article usage

the preparation

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step

Remove the comma

apply

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but will

also

increase their mood,

as well as

gaining

Wrong verb form

gain

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Correct article usage

apply

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spiritual motivation. To illustrate,

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apply

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writing down the list of companies that the employee aims to apply for their next job,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will stimulate them to pursue their dreams of landing a job in the new place which might provide greater salaries than they have now. In conclusion, I agree that as a human being, it is important to fix things during the worst situation rather than waiting or doing nothing, because when people begin to focus on what they can do, ideas will come up and motivations will improve their emotional stability.

Submitted by michellyonggo on Fri Jul 05 2024

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task achievement

Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic, and your response is quite comprehensive. However, consider further developing the points to provide a deeper analysis and more nuanced arguments.

coherence cohesion

Try to ensure each paragraph logically flows into the next. While your essay generally has good cohesion, transitions between ideas could be smoother to enhance readability.

logical structure

Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, and presents both perspectives on the issue effectively.

supported main points

You provided relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Contentment
Resilience
Personal growth
Endurance
Initiative
Advancement
Catalyst
Financial stability
Status quo
Innovation
Missed opportunities
Life satisfaction
Adverse situations
Taking control
Risk assessment
Change management
Self-improvement
Motivation
Stagnation
Proactivity

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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what are the possible solutions?

In many countries, people increasingly talk about money such as how much they earn or how much they pay for things in their daily conversations. Why? Is this a positive or negative trend?

The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Developments in science and technology have caused environmental problems.Some people think that a simpler way of lift will protect environment, while others believe that science and technology can solve environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.