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Band 2.5

Nowadays many jobs are more stressful and the working day is longer. What are the reasons for this? What can employers do to help employees?

#jobs #employers #employees
Today a lot of work
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more pressure and the working day is
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
 time.There are many
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 for that
stress
 in the job.
iwill disscuess
Correct your spelling
will discuss
 it.
initially
,there are a lot of jobs now long hours working which
is effect
Change the verb form
effects
show examples
 them badly
such
 as
employess
Correct your spelling
employees
 as
nurse
Add an article
a nurse
show examples
 which
shift
Change the verb form
shifts
show examples
 12hurs and nurse have
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
 time with patient
care
 during the deliver her
care
 of
patient
Add an article
the patient
a patient
show examples
.she is getting more pressure from
doctor
Add an article
a doctor
the doctor
show examples
 ,
family
Add an article
a family
the family
show examples
 of
patient
Add an article
the patient
a patient
show examples
 ,some staff and head nurse that will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 her and she is working
unerpressure
Correct your spelling
under pressure
underpressure
.The
stress
effect
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
 her
also
maby
Correct your spelling
may
 make her sick.how
iwill
Correct your spelling
I will
 help her.
However
, she should do exercise during her off
dayes
Correct your spelling
days
 like jumb and go to the
gem
Correct your spelling
gym
show examples
 to
relave
Correct your spelling
relieve
 the
stress
 and
also
 should take
care
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
her self
Correct your spelling
herself
show examples
such
 as eating
healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
 food and
sleep
Wrong verb form
sleeping
show examples
 enough.
to sum up
,all the
employess
Correct your spelling
employees
 should take
care
 and what
you
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 like to be away from the
stress
 of work and get
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
you
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 like
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and enjoy
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Submitted by alkhaldijojo80 on

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grammar
Try to proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure. Clear and grammatically correct sentences help convey your ideas effectively.
content development
Develop your points further with specific examples and detailed explanations. For example, elaborate on how employers can help reduce stress in their workers.
coherence
Make sure your essay has a clear and logical flow. Use paragraphs to separate different points, and include linking words to guide the reader through your argument.
content relevance
Your essay addresses the important issue of stress in the workplace and discusses relevant factors.
example usage
You provided a specific example of a stressful job (nursing), which helps illustrate your point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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