The graphs below show the percentage of men and women aged 60-64 who were employed in four counthies in 1970 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
The two bar charts illustrate the
proportion
of elderly people in
both genders aged 60-64 years old who were still being employed in Belgium, the USA, Japan and Australia for thirty years from 1970 to 2000. Change preposition
of
Overall
, it is clear that
the Japanese elders
dominated the percentage over the period
compared to the remaining countries, while
the number of male working elders
tend to decrease
in all regions.
According to
the data, the Japanese men and women were the highest proportion
in terms of working elders
in both 1970 and 2000, although
the rate were
decreased. For Unnecessary verb
apply
males
there were 85% in 1970 and declined to 74% Add a comma
males,
in
thirty years later. The females, Change preposition
apply
however
, were at 43% in 1970 and experienced a slight decrease
to 40% at the end
of the period
. Meanwhile, in Belgium, there were
a dramatic Change the verb form
was
decrease
in proportion
of working old males, from 79% in 1970 to 19% in 2000. Add an article
the proportion
For the
women, Change preposition
The
conversely
, experienced just 1
% Correct article usage
a 1
decrease
over the thirty-year period
.
Additionally
, the percentage of working elders
in the USA and Australia showed a similar pattern. The proportion
of male working elders
decreased by respectively around 20% and 30%, while
the females increased by around 3% and 2% throughout the period
.Submitted by michellyonggo on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, elders, period, decrease with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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