The two pie charts compare the amount of online sales in different sectors by using percentages in Canada in the years 2005 and 2010.

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Overall

Linking Words

, at the beginning of the period electronics & appliances contributed to the most popular retail sectors,

while

Linking Words

housing furniture was the least significant. In comparison,

at the end

Linking Words

of the period food & beverage became the most popular and the lowest contribution was home furnishings. The video game sector in Canada accounted for 18% of sales in 2005

Remove the comma

apply

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and slightly increased by 5% to 30% in 2010.

However

Linking Words

, food and beverage,

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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were 22% in 2005 and had a significant

grow

Replace the word

growth

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to 32% in 2010.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, home furnishings, which comprised a quarter of Canada’s online sales in 2005, fell to 15% in 2010. In 2000 online purchasing from electronics and appliances

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

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at 35% and decreased by 5% to 30% after

5-year

Add an article

a 5-year

the 5-year

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period.

Submitted by prinkarn333 on Sat Jul 06 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "compare" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

151 words

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The two pie charts compare the amount of online sales in different sectors by using percentages in Canada in the years 2005 and 2010.

Some children spend hours every day on their smart phones. Why is this, the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example for your own knowledge or experience

Write a letter to your colleague asking for help in setting up equipment for your presentation. In your letter, you should- -tell when and where presentation will take place -describe your arrangements -tell him/her what equipment you need

children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this the case? what measures can you suggest to encourage higher level of activity among children

In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use their money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution

Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.