The two pie charts compare the amount of online sales in different sectors by using percentages in Canada in the years 2005 and 2010.
The two pie charts compare the amount of online sales in different sectors by using percentages in Canada in the years 2005 and 2010.
Overall
, at the beginning of the period electronics & appliances contributed to the most popular retail sectors, while
housing furniture was the least significant. In comparison, at the end
of the period food & beverage became the most popular and the lowest contribution was home furnishings.
The video game sector in Canada accounted for 18% of sales in 2005,
and slightly increased by 5% to 30% in 2010. Remove the comma
apply
However
, food and beverage, which
were 22% in 2005 and had a significant Correct pronoun usage
apply
grow
to 32% in 2010.
Replace the word
growth
On the other hand
, home furnishings, which comprised a quarter of Canada’s online sales in 2005, fell to 15% in 2010. In 2000 online purchasing from electronics and appliances were
at 35% and decreased by 5% to 30% after Correct subject-verb agreement
was
5-year
period.Add an article
a 5-year
the 5-year
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "compare" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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