IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

#countries #animals #plants
Several nations show
a downward trends
Correct the article-noun agreement
downward trends
a downward trend
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
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 amounts of
animals
 and
plants
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will express the possible reasons
of
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for
show examples
 the phenomenon and how to revert
this
 situation
To begin
 with,
construction
Correct article usage
the construction
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 of new urban
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 is one of the significant
cause
Fix the agreement mistake
causes
show examples
 of the trends developed. In order to build a metropolitan,
Correct article usage
a hugh
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hugh
Correct your spelling
huge
amount
forest
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of forest
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 will need to
treardown
Add a missing verb
be treardown
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 which significantly
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
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 great
amount
plants
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of plants
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 in certain
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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.
Beside
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Besides
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, forest is essential to
wilds
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wild
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animals
 as their habitat and food
supplyer
Correct your spelling
supply
. As the size of
forest
Add an article
the forest
show examples
 is limited, the ability to provide enough food and shelter to sustain the diversity and numerous
of
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apply
show examples
animals
are weaken
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are weakened
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. Eco-system will
unable
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be unable
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support
Fix the infinitive
to support
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amount
Correct article usage
the amount
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 of life as before and lead
animal
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to animal
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 extinction.
Furthermore
, climate
changes
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change
show examples
 is another reason
amount
 of
animals
 and
plants
 declining. The
pollutant
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pollutants
show examples
 created by
human
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humans
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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dramtically
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dramatically
drastically
 changed the environment
such
 as rising ocean
temperature
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temperatures
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 and increasing atomsphere
component
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components
show examples
.
Although
 animal and
plants
has
Change the verb form
have
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 certain ability tolerance to mild climate changes,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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they are unable to adapt to rapid changes
such
 as
globe
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global
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 warming and
desertization
Correct your spelling
desensitization
 in tropical
area
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areas
show examples
. As they do not have time to evolve to
Correct your spelling
apart
apat
Correct your spelling
accept
 the change, In order to revert
current
Change preposition
to current
show examples
 trends, there are several
action
Change to a plural noun
actions
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 we can
do
Verb problem
take
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 to preserve
wild life
Correct your spelling
wildlife
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. Reduce the
porduction
Correct your spelling
production
 of
pollutant
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pollutants
show examples
. Nations around the globe should introduce clean energy
source
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sources
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such
 as hydro power and solar power apart from fossil
fuel base
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fuel-based
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 energy which
produce
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produces
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 less toxic
substance
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substances
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 to
Add an article
the
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environment.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
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,
government
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the government
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 should consult
scientist
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scientists
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before
construct
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constructing
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 new urban
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 to
minize
Correct your spelling
minimise
 the impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 wild
animals
. To summarize, the decline of wild
animals
 and
plants
 can
be solve
Change the verb form
be solved
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 by
introduce
Change the verb form
introducing
show examples
envrionmental
Correct your spelling
environmental
environmentally
 friendly
policy
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policies
show examples
 and
material
Fix the agreement mistake
materials
show examples
 to decrease
impact
Add an article
the impact
show examples
 on
Correct article usage
the eco-system
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eco-system
Correct your spelling
ecosystem
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 from human activities.
Submitted by andy1031227 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay should have a clearer logical structure. Make sure that each paragraph has a distinct main idea and support it with proper examples and explanations. Separate points about urban development and climate change into their own paragraphs.
task achievement
Try to reduce the amount of minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Simple errors can often detract from the overall clarity of your essay.
task achievement
You have clearly identified two major reasons for the decline in animal and plant populations: urban development and climate change.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, which is important for the overall structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • urbanization
  • deforestation
  • agricultural expansion
  • pollution control
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable practices
  • overexploitation
  • invasive species
  • conservation
  • quarantine measures
  • eradication programs
  • public awareness campaigns
  • habitat destruction
  • climate change
  • natural habitats
  • species decline
What to do next:
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