The charts below show the percentage of male and female students of different age groups who studied in Australia for full- time and part- time education in 2006.

#show #percentage #students #age #groups #australia #full- #time #part- #education

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The charts below give detailed information about

percentage

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the percentage

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of male and female

students

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of various age groups in Australia who were enrolled in

full-

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full-time

show examples

time

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and

part-

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part-time

show examples

time

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education

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in 2006.

Overall

Linking Words

it is clear that

Linking Words

have

significant

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a significant

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difference between the male and female

students

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who

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

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studied

part-

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part-time

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time

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and

full-

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full-time

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time

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education

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aged 20-24 and

similar

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a similar

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percentage of

man

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male

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and woman

students

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aged 25-29 for both of them. Focusing on female and male

students

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studied at 12% and 17% in

part-

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part-time

show examples

time

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education

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in the 15-19 age group respectively.Meanwhile,8% of male

students

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and 7% of female

students

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who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

were enrolled in

full-

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time

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education

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.It is worth mentioning that have massive

difference

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differences

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between male and female

students

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and they

have took

Wrong verb form

take

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place in

part-

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part-time

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time

Use synonyms

education

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respective

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respectively

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at 40% and 42% aged 20-24 groups.

While

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

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12% of male and 13% of female

students

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were in

full-

Correct your spelling

full-time

show examples

time

Use synonyms

education

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this

Linking Words

group.

However

Linking Words

students

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aged 30 and over

the

Add a missing verb

had the

show examples

less percentage for

part-

Correct your spelling

part-time

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time

Use synonyms

education

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with 8% of men and 6% of women,

while

Linking Words

males and females joined in

full-

Correct your spelling

full-time

show examples

time

Use synonyms

education

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at 10% and 12% respectively. It is worth mentioning that

man

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men

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and

woman

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women

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students

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,the former and

later

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latter

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have similar

percent

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percentages

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for both types of

education

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the same 8% for female

students

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although

Linking Words

a little difference for males at 8% and 6% in the 25- 29 age group.

Submitted by Shaxnoza on Sat Jul 06 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 81%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, full-, time, part-, education with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

221 words

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The charts below show the percentage of male and female students of different age groups who studied in Australia for full- time and part- time education in 2006.

Many people today are worried about cyber crime such as hacking and identity theft. What problems does cyber crime cause and what solutions can you suggest for ordinary people and businesses to take?

Some people feel that playing computer games has a negative impact on children's health and social skills. Others say that it has a positive impact. Discuss both views.

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is this the case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Different types of robots are now being developed which can be a friend, help at work and at school. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?