The charts below show the percentage of male and female students of different age groups who studied in Australia for full- time and part- time education in 2006.

#show #percentage #students #age #groups #australia #full- #time #part- #education

The charts below give detailed information about

percentage

Add an article

the percentage

show examples

of male and female

students

of various age groups in Australia who were enrolled in

full-

Correct your spelling

full-time

show examples

time

and

part-

Correct your spelling

part-time

show examples

time

education

in 2006.

Overall

it is clear that

have

significant

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a significant

show examples

difference between the male and female

students

who

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

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studied

part-

Correct your spelling

part-time

show examples

time

and

full-

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full-time

show examples

time

education

aged 20-24 and

similar

Add an article

a similar

show examples

percentage of

man

Correct your spelling

male

show examples

and woman

students

aged 25-29 for both of them. Focusing on female and male

students

studied at 12% and 17% in

part-

Correct your spelling

part-time

show examples

time

education

in the 15-19 age group respectively.Meanwhile,8% of male

students

and 7% of female

students

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

were enrolled in

full-

time

education

.It is worth mentioning that have massive

difference

Fix the agreement mistake

differences

show examples

between male and female

students

and they

have took

Wrong verb form

take

show examples

place in

part-

Correct your spelling

part-time

show examples

time

education

respective

Change the word

respectively

show examples

at 40% and 42% aged 20-24 groups.

While

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

12% of male and 13% of female

students

were in

full-

Correct your spelling

full-time

show examples

time

education

this

group.

However

students

aged 30 and over

the

Add a missing verb

had the

show examples

less percentage for

part-

Correct your spelling

part-time

show examples

time

education

with 8% of men and 6% of women,

while

males and females joined in

full-

Correct your spelling

full-time

show examples

time

education

at 10% and 12% respectively. It is worth mentioning that

man

Fix the agreement mistake

men

show examples

and

woman

Fix the agreement mistake

women

show examples

students

,the former and

later

Correct your spelling

latter

show examples

have similar

percent

Replace the word

percentages

show examples

for both types of

education

the same 8% for female

students

although

a little difference for males at 8% and 6% in the 25- 29 age group.

Submitted by Shaxnoza on Sat Jul 06 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 81%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, full-, time, part-, education with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

▼

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

221 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The charts below show the percentage of male and female students of different age groups who studied in Australia for full- time and part- time education in 2006.

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The most importaint aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

At present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults compared with the number of old people.

People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?