The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people #lives

Many

people

believe that the overarching objective of

science

should undeniably be the improvement of

people

lives

. I fully agree with

this

statement, because

science

is capable of revolutionizing society, solving pressing problems and improving the well-being of individuals on a global scale

Firstly

, the primary reason why

science

should prioritize the betterment of

people

lives

is its impact on healthcare. Scientific research has led to remarkable breakthroughs in the field of medicine, resulting in the development of life-saving drugs, innovative treatments, and advanced surgical procedures.

For instance

, the discovery and widespread use of antibiotics have revolutionized the treatment of infectious diseases, significantly reducing mortality rates worldwide.

Such

creations confirm their benefits for

people

and once again

confirms

Correct subject-verb agreement

confirm

show examples

the focus of scientists on helping individuals.

Secondly

, some of the scientists' developments may have

negative

Correct article usage

a negative

show examples

impact excessive development of artificial intelligence can lead to irreversible consequences. AI may become too smart.

Thus

this

can lead to problems

such

as unemployment,

due to

the unnecessary need for certain professions, and, in principle, ultimately,

too developed

Add a hyphen

too-developed

show examples

artificial intelligence can get out of control.

This

can serve as an example of the fact that not all inventions are positive

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since scientists are

also

people

and are

also

Rephrase

apply

show examples

capable of making mistakes In conclusion, I completely believe that the primary aim of

science

should be to simplify

people

lives

. And try all their best

Correct your spelling

help

people

This

is because, through advancements in healthcare and contributions to solving societal challenges,

science

has the capacity to bring about positive transformation in our

lives

Submitted by viktoria.popova92 on Sun Jul 07 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides a relevant and clear stance on the topic. However, it could benefit from a more thorough exploration of the counterargument. Incorporating an additional perspective can demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Work on polishing your grammatical accuracy to enhance the clarity of your ideas. Pay attention to inconsistencies in verb tenses and minor punctuation errors.

coherence cohesion

Improve your coherence by ensuring that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. Use linking words and phrases more effectively to guide the reader through your arguments.

task achievement

Provide more detailed examples and elaborate on them to solidify your points. Currently, the examples are rather general and could be more specific to be truly impactful.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This format makes it easier for the reader to follow your argument.

task achievement

You have managed to present a balanced view by acknowledging potential drawbacks, although this could be expanded further.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

crucial role
technological advancements
medical discoveries
life-changing inventions
innovations
solutions to human problems
enhancing quality of life
improvement of healthcare
transportation
communication
agriculture
energy sectors
eradication of diseases
prolongation of life expectancy
global challenges
climate change
overpopulation
food security
developed world
underprivileged communities

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The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Relocating companies, factories and employees to country side provide benefits to reduce traffic jams and housing problems. To what extend do you agree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message? ive reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own nowledge or experience.

some think that young people should be free to choose any career they like, while other say that they should think more realistically about their future. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Rich countries should not employ skilled labour from poor countries, as poor countries need the worker more. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Many people believe that education and high qualification will bring success. Others think that it is not required to achieve success in life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.