Your electricity department is conducting survey to know public opinion, if department should introduce prepaid cards. The city has sent out an opinion survey to see what residents think about it. Electric bills survey: Option A: City should introduce prepaid cards. Option B: City should continue with existing billing system
In my opinion, the city should continue with the current
mode
of payment which is the physical billing system. There are two primary reasons to
it: Change preposition
for
accessebility
and lack of knowledge.
Correct your spelling
accessibility
Firstly
, in this
era of digitalisation where everyone is preferring
the digital Wrong verb form
prefers
mode
of payments, there are certain group
of people like Fix the agreement mistake
groups
the
elderly persons who still face challenges Correct article usage
apply
due to
lack
of technology knowledge. Correct article usage
a lack
Hence
, they will forced to take others
help to do it for them. Change noun form
others'
other's
Secondly
, the existing billing system benefit
Change the verb form
benefits
large
Add an article
a large
group
of Fix the agreement mistake
groups
population
which is dependent on cash transactions as it allows them to pay the bills Correct article usage
the population
as per
their convenience in cash.
Change preposition
at
Lastly
, I would suggest the concerned department to
continue with the existing billing system as it is more Fix the infinitive
apply
accessibile
and offers ease of use. Correct your spelling
accessible
However
a prepaid card can be introduced as an optional Add a comma
However,
mode
for those who wants
to prefer Change the verb form
want
digital
Correct article usage
a digital
mode
of payment as it also
saves a lot of time and efforts
.Fix the agreement mistake
effort
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task achievement
Try to develop your main points with more specific examples or details. This would enhance your argument and task achievement score.
task achievement
Be careful with minor grammatical and spelling errors such as 'accessebility' (should be 'accessibility') and 'they will forced to take others help' (should be 'they will be forced to take others' help').
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear, single focus to improve coherence and cohesion. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is essential for a higher score in coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You address the prompt directly, discussing both the prepaid card system and the existing billing system.
task achievement
You make good points regarding accessibility and knowledge gaps, which shows a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion