Your electricity department is conducting survey to know public opinion, if department should introduce prepaid cards. The city has sent out an opinion survey to see what residents think about it. Electric bills survey: Option A: City should introduce prepaid cards. Option B: City should continue with existing billing system

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In my opinion, the city should continue with the current
mode
Use synonyms
of payment which is the physical billing system. There are two primary reasons
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
it:
accessebility
Correct your spelling
accessibility
and lack of knowledge.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
era of digitalisation where everyone
is preferring
Wrong verb form
prefers
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the digital
mode
Use synonyms
of payments, there are certain
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
of people like
the
Correct article usage
apply
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elderly persons who still face challenges
due to
Linking Words
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of technology knowledge.
Hence
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, they will forced to take
others
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others'
other's
show examples
help to do it for them.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the existing billing system
benefit
Change the verb form
benefits
show examples
large
Add an article
a large
show examples
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
of
population
Correct article usage
the population
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which is dependent on cash transactions as it allows them to pay the bills
as per
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at
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their convenience in cash.
Lastly
Linking Words
, I would suggest the concerned department
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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continue with the existing billing system as it is more
accessibile
Correct your spelling
accessible
and offers ease of use.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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a prepaid card can be introduced as an optional
mode
Use synonyms
for those who
wants
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want
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to prefer
digital
Correct article usage
a digital
show examples
mode
Use synonyms
of payment as it
also
Linking Words
saves a lot of time and
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
.
Submitted by hassan05.quadri on

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task achievement
Try to develop your main points with more specific examples or details. This would enhance your argument and task achievement score.
task achievement
Be careful with minor grammatical and spelling errors such as 'accessebility' (should be 'accessibility') and 'they will forced to take others help' (should be 'they will be forced to take others' help').
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear, single focus to improve coherence and cohesion. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is essential for a higher score in coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You address the prompt directly, discussing both the prepaid card system and the existing billing system.
task achievement
You make good points regarding accessibility and knowledge gaps, which shows a well-rounded understanding of the topic.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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