It is inevitable that as technology advances, traditional cultures will be lost. It seems that we cannot have these two things together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that, with the development of
technology
, cultural customs will be vanished
and we cannot have these things Change to the active voice
vanish
have vanished
side
by side
. However
, I disagree with the given statement to a certain extent.
On a
positive Correct article usage
the
side
, technology
advancements are inevitable to meet the global requirements of human needs and these innovations have made communication and travel much faster and safer. Today, people are able to send text messages, voice and video messages around the globe within the friction of Replace the word
technological
second
, all thanks to improved Correct article usage
a second
technology
that is
available around the globe. For instance
, China has tested a 5G network service which is 1000 times faster than its previous version called 4G. With the help of SG
network, one can download 2 gigabytes of data within the blink of Correct article usage
the SG
eye
.
On the negative Add an article
an eye
side
of technology
advancements, faster communication using the internet has destroyed the culture of writing letters by hand. Replace the word
technological
Moreover
, because of this
development, people are less interacting in-person
with each other, which is leading to Correct your spelling
in person
eradication
of cultural meet-ups and causing Correct article usage
the eradication
major
communication gap. To illustrate, a couple of decades back, natives used to sit in a dedicated room for social meetings and discuss cultural stories and current affairs, Correct article usage
a major
however
, now technology
has taken control and this
tradition is lost or replaced by other means.
In conclusion, although
, immense progress in technology
sector has changed our practice of cultural meetings, it has made Add an article
the technology
Add an article
the earth
earth
a global village and contacting anyone digitally is faster than Capitalize word
Earth
eve
nowadays. With the proper usage of Correct your spelling
ever
technology
and making efforts to keep our customs alive, we can have these both
things in parallel.Correct pronoun usage
apply
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task achievement
Ensure to clearly state your stance (disagreement) in the introduction. Mention if you disagree completely or just to a certain extent.
task achievement
Incorporate a few more relevant and specific examples to support your points better.
task achievement
Try to make your ideas more comprehensively clear by elaborating on the impact of technology on cultural aspects other than communication.
coherence cohesion
Improve transition between paragraphs to establish a more seamless flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the progression of ideas is logical and well-organized to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to directly link each body paragraph back to your thesis to maintain a consistent and cohesive argument throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a good overview of the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, showcasing a balanced view.
task achievement
The essay includes specific examples, such as the 5G network, which help to illustrate the points made.
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