Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both veiws and give your opinion?
Some individuals
work
for the same Use synonyms
company
for their whole working life . Use synonyms
whereas
, others believe that it is a good idea to Linking Words
work
for different Use synonyms
ortganisations
. I will discuss both the views point in the upcoming paragraphs Correct your spelling
organisations
organizations
along with
my opinion.
Why people Linking Words
gave
more preference to do Wrong verb form
give
work
for the same Use synonyms
company
during their lifeUse synonyms
.
One of the main reasons is promotion Change the punctuation
?
in to
their Join the words
into
job
Use synonyms
level
. By working for the same organisation , workers not only have Use synonyms
a
more chances to Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
increment in
their Verb problem
increase
payment
but Replace the word
pay
also
get promoted to Linking Words
upper
Add an article
the upper
an upper
level
of the current position . The Second reason behind Use synonyms
this
is Linking Words
that
better relationships with the Correct word choice
apply
comapnies
employees . To clarify Correct your spelling
company
this
, if a worker Linking Words
spend
Change the verb form
spends
their
5 to 10 years with the same Correct pronoun usage
apply
companies
Use synonyms
then
they have a good relationship with the manager , supervisor and other Linking Words
Use synonyms
companies member
. So, in Fix the agreement mistake
company members
this
Linking Words
way
they will Add a comma
way,
ready
to do more hours of Add a missing verb
be ready
work
that can increase Use synonyms
the
productivity Change the word
their
level
. Use synonyms
For example
:- An article published in -"The Times"stated that more than 70% of the employees working for the same Linking Words
company
are satisfied with their jobs Use synonyms
due to
their better connection with the workers . Linking Words
Thus
, above mentioned factors Linking Words
shows
that working for the same Change the verb form
show
company
is Use synonyms
good
thing .
Add an article
a good
Whereas
, Linking Words
the
other people Correct article usage
apply
who
choose to Correct pronoun usage
apply
work
for Use synonyms
number
of different Change the article
a number
the number
companies
. The main reason behind Use synonyms
this
is more Linking Words
job
opportunities . By working for more than one Use synonyms
Use synonyms
companies
, the person can find a better Fix the agreement mistake
company
job
Use synonyms
that
Linking Words
is align
with their skill Change the verb form
is aligned
level
. Apart from that , they can develop their connection with Use synonyms
the
different people as well . To be more precise , by building better Correct article usage
apply
connection
with the employees of another Fix the agreement mistake
connections
company
Use synonyms
then
there will Linking Words
more
chances to learn new skills Add a missing verb
be more
along with
Linking Words
the
better Correct article usage
apply
job
options . Use synonyms
Hence
, Linking Words
above
point Correct article usage
the above
explain
Correct subject-verb agreement
explains
,
the benefits of doing Remove the comma
apply
work
for Use synonyms
the
more than one organisation .
In conclusion , Correct article usage
apply
Although
working for the same Linking Words
company
can help the individual in getting Use synonyms
the
promotion Correct article usage
a
along with
Linking Words
the
working in Correct article usage
apply
the
comfortable environment ,Correct article usage
a
but
by working for Correct word choice
apply
the
Remove the article
apply
another organisations
they have a better chance for Replace the adjective
another organisation
other organisations
the
Correct article usage
apply
carrer
growth . In my point of view, Correct your spelling
career
to do
Change the verb form
doing
work
for Use synonyms
the
number of Correct article usage
a
companies
is a good thing for Use synonyms
the
future development .Correct article usage
apply
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task response
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines both perspectives and your opinion. The current introduction is slightly vague and could state your opinion more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Proofread to correct grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, in the phrase 'By working for more than one companies,' 'companies' should be 'company.'
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical structure by using linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly. Phrases like 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In contrast,' would help.
task response
Provide more specific and varied examples to support your points. Currently, the essay provides a single example for job satisfaction. More varied examples would strengthen the argument.
task response
You have presented both viewpoints, which is essential for a balanced discussion essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction and a conclusion, which adds to its overall coherence.
task response
The essay addresses the task and covers the prompt adequately.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.