Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both veiws and give your opinion?
Some individuals
work
for the same company
for their whole working life . whereas
, others believe that it is a good idea to work
for different ortganisations
. I will discuss both the views point in the upcoming paragraphs Correct your spelling
organisations
organizations
along with
my opinion.
Why people gave
more preference to do Wrong verb form
give
work
for the same company
during their life .
One of the main reasons is promotion Change the punctuation
?
in to
their Join the words
into
job
level
. By working for the same organisation , workers not only have a
more chances to Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
increment in
their Verb problem
increase
payment
but Replace the word
pay
also
get promoted to upper
Add an article
the upper
an upper
level
of the current position . The Second reason behind this
is that
better relationships with the Correct word choice
apply
comapnies
employees . To clarify Correct your spelling
company
this
, if a worker spend
Change the verb form
spends
their
5 to 10 years with the same Correct pronoun usage
apply
companies
then
they have a good relationship with the manager , supervisor and other companies member
. So, in Fix the agreement mistake
company members
this
way
they will Add a comma
way,
ready
to do more hours of Add a missing verb
be ready
work
that can increase the
productivity Change the word
their
level
. For example
:- An article published in -"The Times"stated that more than 70% of the employees working for the same company
are satisfied with their jobs due to
their better connection with the workers . Thus
, above mentioned factors shows
that working for the same Change the verb form
show
company
is good
thing .
Add an article
a good
Whereas
, the
other people Correct article usage
apply
who
choose to Correct pronoun usage
apply
work
for number
of different Change the article
a number
the number
companies
. The main reason behind this
is more job
opportunities . By working for more than one companies
, the person can find a better Fix the agreement mistake
company
job
that
is align
with their skill Change the verb form
is aligned
level
. Apart from that , they can develop their connection with the
different people as well . To be more precise , by building better Correct article usage
apply
connection
with the employees of another Fix the agreement mistake
connections
company
then
there will more
chances to learn new skills Add a missing verb
be more
along with
the
better Correct article usage
apply
job
options . Hence
, above
point Correct article usage
the above
explain
Correct subject-verb agreement
explains
,
the benefits of doing Remove the comma
apply
work
for the
more than one organisation .
In conclusion , Correct article usage
apply
Although
working for the same company
can help the individual in getting the
promotion Correct article usage
a
along with
the
working in Correct article usage
apply
the
comfortable environment ,Correct article usage
a
but
by working for Correct word choice
apply
the
Remove the article
apply
another organisations
they have a better chance for Replace the adjective
another organisation
other organisations
the
Correct article usage
apply
carrer
growth . In my point of view, Correct your spelling
career
to do
Change the verb form
doing
work
for the
number of Correct article usage
a
companies
is a good thing for the
future development .Correct article usage
apply
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task response
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines both perspectives and your opinion. The current introduction is slightly vague and could state your opinion more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Proofread to correct grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, in the phrase 'By working for more than one companies,' 'companies' should be 'company.'
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical structure by using linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly. Phrases like 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In contrast,' would help.
task response
Provide more specific and varied examples to support your points. Currently, the essay provides a single example for job satisfaction. More varied examples would strengthen the argument.
task response
You have presented both viewpoints, which is essential for a balanced discussion essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction and a conclusion, which adds to its overall coherence.
task response
The essay addresses the task and covers the prompt adequately.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.