Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

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It is true that
,
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apply

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health sectors play a crucial role in society.
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Although
Correct word choice
However

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,
healthcare
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is quite expensive for normal citizens
by
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the private enterprises. Private
healthcare
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has more benefits than
drawbacks
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.
This
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essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons. There are two vital advantages of private health
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Use synonyms

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service
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services

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.
One
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of the primary benefits is that private
hospitals
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provide the best quality of medical
service
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in order to
they
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attract
to
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the population even if high cost.
This
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is, public
hospitals
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do not treat patients like humans because they are the government
emloyees
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employees

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but private medicals always
give
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response
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respond

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to patients and help them.
For example
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,
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Use synonyms

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one
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in one

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of the famous
hospitals
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in India, which is Apollo, the
treatement
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treatment

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cost is more expensive
eventhough
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even though

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normal
persons
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people

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who earn wages like to go there and get
a
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treatment
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from that
due to
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the quality of the
service
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. Another
signficant
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significant

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benefit is that these kinds of medicare companies have more resources like modernized medical
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment

It appears that equipments is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

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, qualifying
staffs
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staff

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, more bed arrangements and
surgens
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surgeries

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,
hence
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, individuals prefer to get all these facilities under
the
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one
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roof without going to other places for taking examinations. Despite these merits, there are two main disadvantages of private
healthcare
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.
One
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of the major
drawbacks
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is that private
hospitals
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that can only
affortable
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affordable

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for
the
Correct article usage
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affluent people because of the cost, small test
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

brings more money,
that's
Correct word choice
and that's

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why wealthy people
are being
Verb problem
have

There may be a verb use issue here.

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a
healthy
Replace the word
healthier

The word healthy doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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lifestyle than the
underprevileged
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underprivileged

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.
For instance
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, poor people can never think about to
getting
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get

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the best
treatment
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from
the
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apply

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private
healthcare
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. Another disadvantage is that private
companie's
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companies'

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primary motto
for
Add a missing verb
is for

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profits
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profit

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rather than providing the best
service
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and
treatment
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to the population, so they usually conduct many tests even in a small fracture. These are the
drawbacks
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of
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

phenomenon. In conclusion, private
hospitals
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are providing the best quality of
service
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

as well
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
Correct word choice
and

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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they have more modernized amenities, these are the advantages of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

trend. It is suitable only
the
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for the

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rich community because
treatment
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is quite expensive and they more focus on their business profits rather
tahn
Correct your spelling
than

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treating
Verb problem
apply

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treatment
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are the
drawbacks
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, private
healthcare
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has more
benfits
Correct your spelling
benefits

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than
drawbacks
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetitive phrases such as 'This essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons.' Use varied expressions to enhance readability.
task achievement
While the essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages, ensure that each point is developed fully with clear support and elaboration.
general
Improve your grammatical range and accuracy to avoid common errors like run-on sentences and subject-verb agreement issues.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly establishes the topic and your thesis statement concisely presents your main argument.
introduction conclusion
Conclude with a clear summary of your key points and indicate why one side of the argument outweighs the other.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a structured approach with distinct sections discussing advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
Examples like the reference to Apollo hospital help ground the arguments with specific context.
introduction conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are present, framing the discussion well despite some grammatical errors.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • basic necessity
  • private companies
  • costly
  • ordinary individuals
  • specialized services
  • resource constraints
  • advanced facilities
  • state-of-the-art technology
  • health outcomes
  • alleviate pressure
  • wait times
  • innovation
  • competitive advantages
  • invest
  • new technologies
  • treatments
  • inequality
  • access to services
  • afford
  • financial strain
  • medical bankruptcy
  • sufficient insurance
  • well-resourced
  • predominance
  • neglect
  • universal healthcare goals
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