You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages? Write at least 250 words.
It is true that
,
health sectors play a crucial role in society. Remove the comma
apply
Although
, Correct word choice
However
healthcare
is quite expensive for normal citizens by
the private enterprises. Private Change preposition
apply
healthcare
has more benefits than drawbacks
. This
essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons.
There are two vital advantages of private health service
. Fix the agreement mistake
services
One
of the primary benefits is that private hospitals
provide the best quality of medical service
in order to they
attract Correct pronoun usage
apply
to
the population even if high cost. Change preposition
apply
This
is, public hospitals
do not treat patients like humans because they are the government emloyees
but private medicals always Correct your spelling
employees
give
Verb problem
apply
response
to patients and help them. Replace the word
respond
For example
, one
of the famous Change preposition
in one
hospitals
in India, which is Apollo, the treatement
cost is more expensive Correct your spelling
treatment
eventhough
normal Correct your spelling
even though
persons
who earn wages like to go there and get Replace the word
people
a
Correct article usage
apply
treatment
from that due to
the quality of the service
. Another signficant
benefit is that these kinds of medicare companies have more resources like modernized medical Correct your spelling
significant
equipments
, qualifying Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
staffs
, more bed arrangements and Fix the agreement mistake
staff
surgens
, Correct your spelling
surgeries
hence
, individuals prefer to get all these facilities under the
Correct article usage
apply
one
roof without going to other places for taking examinations.
Despite these merits, there are two main disadvantages of private healthcare
. One
of the major drawbacks
is that private hospitals
that can only affortable
for Correct your spelling
affordable
the
affluent people because of the cost, small test Correct article usage
apply
also
brings more money, that's
why wealthy people Correct word choice
and that's
are being
a Verb problem
have
healthy
lifestyle than the Replace the word
healthier
underprevileged
. Correct your spelling
underprivileged
For instance
, poor people can never think about to getting
the best Change the form of the verb
get
treatment
from the
private Correct article usage
apply
healthcare
. Another disadvantage is that private companie's
primary motto Change noun form
companies'
for
Add a missing verb
is for
profits
rather than providing the best Fix the agreement mistake
profit
service
and treatment
to the population, so they usually conduct many tests even in a small fracture. These are the drawbacks
of this
phenomenon.
In conclusion, private hospitals
are providing the best quality of service
as well
as
they have more modernized amenities, these are the advantages of Correct word choice
and
this
trend. It is suitable only the
rich community because Change preposition
for the
treatment
is quite expensive and they more focus on their business profits rather tahn
Correct your spelling
than
treating
Verb problem
apply
treatment
are the drawbacks
ofCorrect pronoun usage
apply
this
. Therefore
, private healthcare
has more benfits
than Correct your spelling
benefits
drawbacks
.Submitted by reanudeepan on
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coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetitive phrases such as 'This essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons.' Use varied expressions to enhance readability.
task achievement
While the essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages, ensure that each point is developed fully with clear support and elaboration.
general
Improve your grammatical range and accuracy to avoid common errors like run-on sentences and subject-verb agreement issues.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly establishes the topic and your thesis statement concisely presents your main argument.
introduction conclusion
Conclude with a clear summary of your key points and indicate why one side of the argument outweighs the other.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a structured approach with distinct sections discussing advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
Examples like the reference to Apollo hospital help ground the arguments with specific context.
introduction conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are present, framing the discussion well despite some grammatical errors.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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