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Writing Samples
Band 5

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
#show #percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world #information #features
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The
bie
Correct your spelling
pie
 charts give information
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 the percentage of
using
Verb problem
apply
show examples
water
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 multiple
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 in six
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
 of the world .
Overall
Linking Words
, using
water
Use synonyms
 for farming is the most
comon
Correct your spelling
common
 in
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
all areas
expect
Correct your spelling
except
show examples
 North
America
Use synonyms
 and
Europe
Use synonyms
. industrial
use
Use synonyms
 and domestic
use
Use synonyms
 is the least
use
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
, but North
America
Use synonyms
 and
Europe
Use synonyms
 have the most
use
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 in industrial
use
Use synonyms
 .
Farmars
Correct your spelling
Farmers
 are using the highest amount of
water
Use synonyms
 in Africa, Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 and South East
Asia
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 84%, 88% and 81%
respctfally
Correct your spelling
respectfully
.
However
Linking Words
, 7% of domestic
use
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 in Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 and South East
Asia
Use synonyms
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 the lowest, but
Aferca
Correct your spelling
Africa
 has more
2
Change preposition
than 2
show examples
% than them. in industrial
Use synonyms
use
Add a comma
use,
show examples
 South East
Asia
Use synonyms
 has
most
Add an article
the most
show examples
use
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 among Africa and Central
Asia
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
12%,
while
Linking Words
 7%
use
Use synonyms
 in Africa and 5% in Central
Asia
Use synonyms
.
Eroupe
Correct your spelling
Europe
 has the most
use
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 in industrial
use
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 53% and North
Amercia
Correct your spelling
America
 are second
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 48%.
However
Linking Words
,
argicultural
Correct your spelling
agricultural
use
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 in
Noth
Correct your spelling
North
show examples
America
Use synonyms
 and
Europe
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 39% and 32%
respctfally
Correct your spelling
respectively
.
Europe
Use synonyms
 has the second
bigest
Change the word
biggest
show examples
use
Use synonyms
 of domestic of all areas
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
15% after South
America
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 North
America
Use synonyms
 has 13 %.
Submitted by ijaly4 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, america, europe, use, asia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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