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Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph shows the amount earned by graduates of different age groups in 2002. It includes those with a degree. Those with a higher degree ( postgraduate) and those with other qualifications. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The graph shows the amount earned by graduates of different age groups in 2002. It includes those with a degree. Those with a higher degree ( postgraduate) and those with other qualifications. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
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The visual illustrates the number of incomes in 2002 between 3 categories who are graduate,postgraduate and others
in
Change preposition
of
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 different ages in every week.The biggest amount of money was approximately 850pond in 36-40 years old in others group. The amount earned between all 3 groups from 21-25 and 31-35 moved increasingly from approximately 350 to 450 to nearly 600 and 700
ponds
Correct your spelling
pounds
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each week,
also
Linking Words
 there was a boom in other categories in
age
Use synonyms
 36-40 more than 800
ponds
Correct your spelling
pounds
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. The number of income in Higher
degree
Use synonyms
 shooted nearly 750 pond but first
degree
Use synonyms
 just has an increase in36 to 40 ages near 700
ponds
Correct your spelling
pounds
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. There was a
fluctuate
Replace the word
fluctuation
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 in other groups in
age
Use synonyms
 31-35 to 46-50 in the first
degree
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. The amount of earning money had decreased in both groups which were others and
Higer
Correct your spelling
Higher
degree
Use synonyms
 in
age
Use synonyms
 41-45 in Highers decreased from 810 to 710 and
this
Linking Words
 decrease continued to less than 700 in ages 56-60,
also
Linking Words
 the Highers were the same in
age
Use synonyms
 41-45 to 51-55 but they had an increase in
age
Use synonyms
 56-60 by nearly 800 pond incomes every week.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, degree with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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