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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the amount of money spent on books in four various counties of Europe- Germany, Italy, France and Austria from the year 1995 up to 2005.

The graph below shows the amount of money spent on books in four various counties of Europe- Germany, Italy, France and Austria from the year 1995 up to 2005.
#amount #money #books #four #counties #europe- #germany #france #austria #year
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The given line Charts
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
 the quantity of
money
Use synonyms
 that
consume
Verb problem
is spent
show examples
 on
Add an article
the book
a book
show examples
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 in four
verries
Correct your spelling
ferries
berries
 countries including Germany, Italy,
Use synonyms
france
Change the capitalization
France
show examples
sand
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
Austria
Use synonyms
 in ten years between 1995 and 2005. Generally,
It is clear
Linking Words
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
from
chart
Add an article
the chart
a chart
show examples
 that the amount of
money
Use synonyms
 on
books
Use synonyms
 increased gradually over
this
Linking Words
 period in all countries.
However
Linking Words
, Germany spent the highest Numbers of
money
Use synonyms
 on
books
Use synonyms
, followed by
France
Use synonyms
,
Italy
Correct word choice
and Italy
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
Austria
Use synonyms
 represented the lowest
consumstion
Correct your spelling
consumption
 of
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
.
Germay
Correct your spelling
Germany
 Started with the
hight
Correct your spelling
high
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 spent on
Add an article
the book
a book
show examples
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
about 80
dollars
Use synonyms
 (
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
)in 1995,
then
Linking Words
 increased by 10% in the following two
Years
Fix capitalization
years
show examples
 to reach 90
dollars
Use synonyms
 (
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
) in 1999. The Same rate of rose up
also
Linking Words
 detected in
Use synonyms
Austria
Change noun form
Austria's
show examples
 line chart ,but it begins
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 30
dollars
Use synonyms
 (
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
) in 1995, and growth of 10% in 1990 to 40
dollars
Use synonyms
 (
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
). After 1990, Germany declined slightly to 85
dollars
Use synonyms
 (
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
),
while
Linking Words
Austria
Use synonyms
 remained stable
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the amount of
money
Use synonyms
 (40
dollars
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
) until 2001. After that, there was a dramatic increase
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 in
Austria
Use synonyms
 and climbed
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 70
dollars
Use synonyms
 (
millions
Use synonyms
) in 2005.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the
Same
Fix capitalization
same
show examples
 year, German reached
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
95
dollars
Use synonyms
 (
millions
Use synonyms
 )
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 buying
books
Use synonyms
 .
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Italy and
France
Use synonyms
 spent the same amount of
money
Use synonyms
 on
books
Use synonyms
 in 1995 (50-55
dollars
Use synonyms
millions
Use synonyms
) .There was a slow increase
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
money
Use synonyms
 of
books
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
France
Use synonyms
 ,
reaches
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 70
dollars
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 in 2001, and continues to
growth
Replace the word
grow
show examples
 up to 75
dollars
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
To sum up
Linking Words
, the
Submitted by MM2 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words money, france, austria, books, dollars, millions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • expenditure
  • fluctuations
  • economic factors
  • population changes
  • cultural shifts
  • spending patterns
  • steady growth
  • decline
  • projection
  • implications
  • data reliability
  • comparative analysis
  • highest/lowest expenditure
  • investments in literature
  • consumer behavior
  • market trends
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