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Band 4.5

Most employees nowdays put increasing emphasis on social skills . Some people believe that social skills are important in addition to good qualifications for job success. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#employees #nowdays #emphasis #skills #people #addition #qualifications #job #success
Many working individuals
empasise
Correct your spelling
emphasise
 more on social
skills
 these days. Some state that apart from good qualifications, social
skills
 are
also
 important for career success. I completely agree with
this
 statement because it is needed to work
effeciently
Correct your spelling
efficiently
 with the fellow
colleageus
Correct your spelling
colleagues
 and
also
 it
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
a better relationships
Correct the article-noun agreement
a better relationship
better relationships
show examples
 with customers. Even though social
skills
 are not required by every job,
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 has a major impact on some. It determines an
individuals
Change noun form
individual's
show examples
 ability to work with each other
colleagueus
Correct your spelling
colleagues
 which leads to
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 healthy,
worker friendly
Add a hyphen
worker-friendly
show examples
 environment. Once they have
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 understanding
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 each other, it will be much easier to work together and grow as a team.
For example
,
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
show examples
succesful
Correct your spelling
successful
 companies, namely Microsoft and Apple, look for employees who have more social and communication
skills
. They believe that social
skills
 are an important qualification that their workers should have. Another importance of social
skills
 is that it allows the employees to have good relationships with the customers. These bonds between the customer and the worker
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the
basic
Replace the word
basis
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 business. It helps the employee to promote any product or to attract the customer and to increase their sales.
For instance
, many marketing companies
inrecent
Correct your spelling
in recent
 times, put an effort in searching for workers with appropriate social
skills
 because
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
 even a more
wualified
Correct your spelling
qualified
 person who lacks social
skills
 won't be able to achieve what a socially improved person could. In conclusion, most workers stress much on social
skills
 in their job applications and
come
Verb problem
apply
show examples
argue that social
skills
 are necessary,
additionaly
Correct your spelling
additionally
additional
 to good qualifications for job
succes
Correct your spelling
success
. I completely agree with
this
 statement as it helps an individual to have
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 with
colleageus
Correct your spelling
colleagues
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
customers.
Submitted by lithmakumaradasa on

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coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, presenting a concise stance on the topic.
task achievement
The main points discussed are relevant and valid, emphasizing the importance of social skills in the workplace.
task achievement
You offer plausible real-world examples related to companies like Microsoft and Apple which add credibility to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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