Topic 2: These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However, others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#topic #families #move #countries #work #people #children #benefit #life

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there is no denying the fact care

childern

Correct your spelling

children

vere importnat

Correct your spelling

very important

while

Linking Words

commanly

Correct article usage

a commanly

show examples

held

belife

Correct your spelling

belief

beliefs

that must riseing

thier

Correct your spelling

their

children

Use synonyms

in your homedwon and some people

prefer

Add the particle

prefer to

show examples

rise them out

country

Add an article

the country

show examples

,I will discuss both other hands and

drew

Wrong verb form

draw

show examples

my personal in

this

Linking Words

esay

Correct your spelling

essay

. On the one hand, most of these

children

Use synonyms

grow up into great adults in varying professions.

For instance

Linking Words

, in the United Kingdom, most pupils in the early years of schooling have free education.

This

Linking Words

gives equal opportunities to foreigners whose

children

Use synonyms

are citizens of the land by virtue of being born there to have the same exposure as actual natives of the United Kingdom.

Such

Linking Words

environments reward hard work so as long as a ward with a foreign background excels academically, they will acquire the jobs of their dreams once they qualify.

Also

Linking Words

, most Western countries reward talents unlike developing nations where people take up jobs not because they are passionate but because of the earnings from the work that will enable them to live comfortable lives. I definitely think these benefits cannot be achieved in one's native land and will say

such

Linking Words

folks have an upper hand.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, in some societies,

children

Use synonyms

from foreign lands grow into vices.

This

Linking Words

is a common finding in America. To illustrate

this

Linking Words

, most people of African descent are aware their countries promote childhood discipline to shape one's attitude. But in countries like America, laws frown on disciplining

children

Use synonyms

and make it difficult for parents to groom their

children

Use synonyms

. These

children

Use synonyms

grow up making decisions that lead them to nowhere as adults. Most school dropouts in America are foreign and they are the ones involved in much violence.

This

Linking Words

is because the parents are unable to straighten the lives of their

children

Use synonyms

in ways they know best as they are bound by some restricting laws in these foreign lands.

To sum up

Linking Words

, raising kids in foreign lands comes with pros and cons.

However

Linking Words

, I am of the opinion these

children

Use synonyms

have more gains than losses.

Submitted by azoz4001 on Mon Jul 08 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure you proofread your essay to correct spelling and grammatical errors such as 'vere' instead of 'very', 'belief' instead of 'belife', and 'downtown' instead of 'homedwon'.

coherence cohesion

Try to structure your introduction more clearly. The current introduction is confusing and lacks clarity. Aim for a clear thesis statement that outlines the main points you will discuss.

task achievement

Develop each argument more fully. Provide more details and explanations to support your points, and ensure your main points are clearly linked to the examples provided.

coherence cohesion

Use linking words and phrases to enhance the logical flow between your ideas. Words like 'furthermore', 'moreover', or 'consequently' can help to connect your sentences and paragraphs better.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively sums up your argument and gives a clear opinion on the topic.

task achievement

You've used relevant examples to support your points, making your arguments more convincing.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

336 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Migration
Globalization
Opportunities
Diversity
Assimilation
Adaptability
Language acquisition
Education
Career prospects
Social connections
Isolation
Cultural identity
Support systems
Parental guidance
Ambiguous

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Topic 2: These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However, others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

More and more information about the lives of celebrities is found in newspapers, magazines, and online. Why is this happening? What are the disadvantages for the reading public?

In the contemporary era, a growing amount of money has been deeply invested in artworks by the governments. There are some proponents who advocate that this largely artistic investment could ideally be spent on many other vital fileds

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Innovation is often driven by the pursuit of profit and economic growth. However, some argue that it should prioritize addressing social and environmental issues. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.