Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Science has paved the way for us throughout
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human history. Nowadays our social life,
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
show examples
and connectivity with others is impossible without it. Some people think
this
dependency can be harmful.
However
, I do not align myself with
this
camp of thought. In
this
essay, I will explain my view.
Relience
Correct your spelling
Reliance
on technology
on
Change preposition
in
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every major sector has created a
fear
among many regarding the cataclysmic effects
incase
Correct your spelling
in case
show examples
of any technological failure. In
such
cases, we will be
amputed
Correct your spelling
imputed
amputated
to do our basic daily tasks, resulting in
collapse
Add an article
the collapse
a collapse
show examples
of our society. It is fueled by the constant tension and conflicts between countries, which is
worsend
Correct your spelling
worsened
worse
by the possibility of
thermoneuclear
Correct your spelling
thermonuclear
wars.
This
fear
has given birth to a new genre of
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
shows, blogs and YouTube channels regarding survival in the wilderness.
For instance
, there is a
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
show named Alone, which is in its 10th season, here
contestents
Correct your spelling
contestants
are dropped in various secluded areas with only basic tools to see who can stay there longer.
On the other hand
, technology is built by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humans to help and improve our existing system and like every other human
inventions
Change to a singular noun
invention
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,
this
fear
of
armagedon
Correct your spelling
Armageddon
is a side effect. We can not throw away the scientific developments of centuries just because there might be catastrophic consequences in case of failure.
Moreover
, I believe we should double down and try to achieve a system which is
fail proof
Add a hyphen
fail-proof
show examples
or build multiple backup systems if one stops working.
For example
, aeroplanes are one of the best inventions of human history, which have multiple
redundencies
Correct your spelling
redundancies
for each and every
instruments
Fix the agreement mistake
instrument
show examples
, from a bolt to the radar.
To conclude
, as our society can not run without technology, there is a
fear
of impending catastrophic failure. But I think
this
fear
is baseless as
this
is
also
a part of human life to face different and difficult
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
.
Submitted by mostakahmedfaysal on

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Task Achievement
While your essay presents a clear position, try to balance both views more evenly and provide a bit more depth to your arguments to enhance the completeness of your response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance your coherence by ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. For instance, connecting phrases or sentences between paragraphs can help.
Language Use
Work on your grammar and spelling. For example, 'Relience' should be 'Reliance', and 'amputed' should be 'hampered'. This will improve clarity and sophistication.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your arguments well.
Task Achievement
You use specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your central thesis is clear and maintained throughout the essay, demonstrating a strong logical structure.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • reliance
  • cybersecurity
  • over-reliance
  • digital divide
  • data breach
  • cyberbullying
  • diagnostic machines
  • electronic health records
  • automated vehicles
  • predictive maintenance
  • real-time monitoring
  • vulnerability
  • misinformation
  • hacking
  • efficiency
  • navigation systems
  • traditional skills
  • system failures
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