Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
#communications #medicine #transport #systems #depend #computer #technology #reliance #fields #situation
Science has paved the way for us throughout
the
human history. Nowadays our social life, Correct article usage
apply
well being
and connectivity with others is impossible without it. Some people think Add a hyphen
well-being
this
dependency can be harmful. However
, I do not align myself with this
camp of thought. In this
essay, I will explain my view.
Relience
on technology Correct your spelling
Reliance
on
every major sector has created a Change preposition
in
fear
among many regarding the cataclysmic effects incase
of any technological failure. In Correct your spelling
in case
such
cases, we will be amputed
to do our basic daily tasks, resulting in Correct your spelling
imputed
amputated
collapse
of our society. It is fueled by the constant tension and conflicts between countries, which is Add an article
the collapse
a collapse
worsend
by the possibility of Correct your spelling
worsened
worse
thermoneuclear
wars. Correct your spelling
thermonuclear
This
fear
has given birth to a new genre of tv
shows, blogs and YouTube channels regarding survival in the wilderness. Correct your spelling
TV
For instance
, there is a tv
show named Alone, which is in its 10th season, here Correct your spelling
TV
contestents
are dropped in various secluded areas with only basic tools to see who can stay there longer.
Correct your spelling
contestants
On the other hand
, technology is built by the
humans to help and improve our existing system and like every other human Correct article usage
apply
inventions
, Change to a singular noun
invention
this
fear
of armagedon
is a side effect. We can not throw away the scientific developments of centuries just because there might be catastrophic consequences in case of failure. Correct your spelling
Armageddon
Moreover
, I believe we should double down and try to achieve a system which is fail proof
or build multiple backup systems if one stops working. Add a hyphen
fail-proof
For example
, aeroplanes are one of the best inventions of human history, which have multiple redundencies
for each and every Correct your spelling
redundancies
instruments
, from a bolt to the radar.
Fix the agreement mistake
instrument
To conclude
, as our society can not run without technology, there is a fear
of impending catastrophic failure. But I think this
fear
is baseless as this
is also
a part of human life to face different and difficult situation
.Fix the agreement mistake
situations
Submitted by mostakahmedfaysal on
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Task Achievement
While your essay presents a clear position, try to balance both views more evenly and provide a bit more depth to your arguments to enhance the completeness of your response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance your coherence by ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. For instance, connecting phrases or sentences between paragraphs can help.
Language Use
Work on your grammar and spelling. For example, 'Relience' should be 'Reliance', and 'amputed' should be 'hampered'. This will improve clarity and sophistication.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your arguments well.
Task Achievement
You use specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your central thesis is clear and maintained throughout the essay, demonstrating a strong logical structure.