Nowadays, more and more older people who need employment compete with the younger people for the same job. What problem this causes? What are solution?

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Issues related to job competition in two different generations are frequently discussed these days. It is true that the number of

eldery

Correct your spelling

elderly

individuals looking for

the

Correct article usage

show examples

similar position as younger

persons

Replace the word

people

show examples

Change the verb form

are

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increasing

Change preposition

show examples

this

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

present day. In the following paragraph, both

problem

Correct article usage

the problem

show examples

this

causes and

solution

Add an article

the solution

a solution

show examples

will be critically examined. On the one hand, there are a number of problems associated with

this

trend. The principal cause is that the employment

prospect

Fix the agreement mistake

prospects

show examples

for young people will be dropped,

espeacially

Correct your spelling

especially

for fresh graduates.

In other words

, opening positions for younger generations are able to be snatched by seniors leading to

unemplotment

Correct your spelling

unemployment

problems.

As a consequence

, many juniors could not

affoard

Correct your spelling

afford

numerous benefits

such

as public funds or company insurance resulting in negative

society

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societal

show examples

issues.

For instance

, there is

Remove the article

apply

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research from Chulalongkorn University has shown that

crime

Correct article usage

the crime

show examples

rate

Unnecessary verb

apply

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directly

vary

Correct subject-verb agreement

varies

show examples

by the employment rate. On the other

hands

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hand

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, there are potential ways to tackle these situations or at least reduce the effects. The primary method is

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

should provide proper strategies to solve

Add an article

the circumstance

show examples

circumstance

Fix the agreement mistake

circumstances

show examples

This

means that policies or regulations about aged people should be released including pension, retirement benefits and health care services.

Secondly

government

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the government

show examples

should

also

carefully invest in education and training programs for

amatuer

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amateur

job

seeker

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seekers

show examples

Consequently

this

can improve their competitiveness and employability in

labour

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the labour

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market. All things considered, It can be concluded that youth unemployment, criminal rate, and work environments are the major effects of the increasing competition between young

ang

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and

old generation

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old-generation

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workers.

Therefore

ministry

Correct article usage

the ministry

show examples

labour

Capitalize word

Labour

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or any related agencies should find the right balance before making

such

as pivotal determination.

Submitted by nyentdn on Tue Jul 09 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on enhancing logical flow between sentences and paragraphs to ensure smooth transitions and overall coherence.

task achievement

Pay careful attention to grammar and spelling to minimize errors and improve clarity.

task achievement

The essay addresses the topic comprehensively, discussing both problems and solutions.

task achievement

Main points are generally well-supported with relevant examples.

coherence cohesion

The essay is logically structured with an introduction, main body, and conclusion.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Nowadays, more and more older people who need employment compete with the younger people for the same job. What problem this causes? What are solution?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Today there is increasing concern over environmental problems. While some people believe taht they must be solved on a domestic level, others think that only through international cooperation can environment issues be dealt with. Discuss both views and give yoru opinion.

Many children no longer read books and instead spend their time using modern technology. While some people think this is a positive trend, others think it is a problem. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

International sporting events are costly and bring problems to the hosting country. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your position.

rental or own house. adavantages and disadvantages

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?