Nowadays, more and more older people who need employment compete with the younger people for the same job. What problem this causes? What are solution?

#people #employment #job

Issues related to job competition in two different generations are frequently discussed these days. It is true that the number of

eldery

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elderly

individuals looking for

the

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similar position as younger

persons

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people

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Change the verb form

are

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increasing

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this

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

present day. In the following paragraph, both

problem

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the problem

show examples

this

causes and

solution

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the solution

a solution

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will be critically examined. On the one hand, there are a number of problems associated with

this

trend. The principal cause is that the employment

prospect

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prospects

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for young people will be dropped,

espeacially

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especially

for fresh graduates.

In other words

, opening positions for younger generations are able to be snatched by seniors leading to

unemplotment

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unemployment

problems.

As a consequence

, many juniors could not

affoard

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afford

numerous benefits

such

as public funds or company insurance resulting in negative

society

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societal

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issues.

For instance

, there is

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apply

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research from Chulalongkorn University has shown that

crime

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the crime

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rate

Unnecessary verb

apply

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directly

vary

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varies

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by the employment rate. On the other

hands

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hand

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, there are potential ways to tackle these situations or at least reduce the effects. The primary method is

goverment

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government

should provide proper strategies to solve

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the circumstance

show examples

circumstance

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circumstances

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This

means that policies or regulations about aged people should be released including pension, retirement benefits and health care services.

Secondly

government

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the government

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should

also

carefully invest in education and training programs for

amatuer

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amateur

job

seeker

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seekers

show examples

Consequently

this

can improve their competitiveness and employability in

labour

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the labour

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market. All things considered, It can be concluded that youth unemployment, criminal rate, and work environments are the major effects of the increasing competition between young

ang

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and

old generation

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old-generation

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workers.

Therefore

ministry

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the ministry

show examples

labour

Capitalize word

Labour

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or any related agencies should find the right balance before making

such

as pivotal determination.

Submitted by nyentdn on Tue Jul 09 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on enhancing logical flow between sentences and paragraphs to ensure smooth transitions and overall coherence.

task achievement

Pay careful attention to grammar and spelling to minimize errors and improve clarity.

task achievement

The essay addresses the topic comprehensively, discussing both problems and solutions.

task achievement

Main points are generally well-supported with relevant examples.

coherence cohesion

The essay is logically structured with an introduction, main body, and conclusion.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, more and more older people who need employment compete with the younger people for the same job. What problem this causes? What are solution?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Describe how your primary school education looks like?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building the live in. What are the reason for this? How can people research this?

Water scarcity is a serious problem in many countries. What are the causes of this? And what solutions can be done by individuals and the government?

Some believe that people today have no interests in maintaining the traditional culture of their country or region. Others believe that it is still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?