The chart below show the average percentage in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant

The chart below show the average percentage in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant
There are numerous types of meals consumed in the USA. In
these meal
Change the determiner
this meal
these meals
show examples
contain many ingredients
such
as
sodium
, saturated
fats
and added sugars. These graphs show the
amount
of these three nutrients in between the four times of eating. Let's start with
sodium
, in breakfast the
amount
of
sodium
intake is 14%, same with the
snacks
eaten
which
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
the
amount
of
sodium
is
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
14%. The most
amount
of
sodium
consumed is at
dinner
at 43%,
while
the second most
amount
of
sodium
consumed is at lunch at 29%.
Next,
there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
Saturated
fats
. Saturated
fats
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
mostly consumed at
dinner
at
Change preposition
with
show examples
37% of it consumed
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there.
Then
comes
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
lunch and
dinner
where they are at 26% and 16% respectively and 21% for
snacks
.
Moreover
, for Added
sugars
Add a comma
sugars,
show examples
the
amount
of sugars consumed the most is at
snacks
at a whopping 42%. Which belittles the
amount
of
sodium
or saturated
fats
consumed
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
snacks
. To continue, there are 16% for breakfast, 19% for lunch and 23% for
dinner
. To summarize the
amount
of
Sodium
consumed
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
peak
Fix the agreement mistake
peaks
show examples
during
dinner
same as the
amount
of saturated fat which is the most at
dinner
,
while
the added sugar is mostly taken during
snacks
.
Submitted by lydiaia on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium, fats, amount, snacks, dinner with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 9 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: