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Writing Samples
Band 5

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate student who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate student who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #uk #graduate #student #work #college #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar charts
compares
Change the verb form
compare
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 the job type other than full-time
work
Use synonyms
 between the United Kingdom graduates and postgraduates in 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of both
Use synonyms
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
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 chose to advance their
study
Use synonyms
 after graduation whilst
the
Remove the article
apply
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both
Use synonyms
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
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shows
Wrong verb form
showed
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 little interest
on
Change preposition
in
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 voluntary
work
Use synonyms
. For United Kingdom graduates, most of the graduates opted to
study
Use synonyms
post graduate
Correct your spelling
postgraduate
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study
Use synonyms
 after graduation. The second most prevalent job selection is part-time
work
Use synonyms
, but it
only
Add a missing verb
is only
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 accountable to half the
population
Use synonyms
 than that in
further
Linking Words
study
Use synonyms
. Only less than
one tenth
Add a hyphen
one-tenth
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 of the
population
Use synonyms
 picked voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 as their career path. For United Kingdom post-graduates,
although
Linking Words
 the advancement of
study
Use synonyms
 is still the most popular option, the
population
Use synonyms
 of people who opted
part-time
Change preposition
for part-time
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 is comparable with only 200 people difference. Volunteering is the least popular among all, which only contains less than 400 people.
Submitted by hardychau on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words work, population, study with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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