Some people today believe that the world’s increase in population is unsustainable and will eventually lead to a global crisis. Other people believe that a world population increase is necessary and beneficial as it creates the growth of the world’s economy and society. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
overpopulation
is
inevitably Verb problem
will
occured
in the future as Correct your spelling
occur
the
modern technologies are Correct article usage
apply
envolving
and facilities Correct your spelling
involved
higher
effectiveness in curing, leading to higher longevity. Add a missing verb
have higher
While
some people
argue that an increase in world population
is needed and beneficial to world’s
economy and societal growth, I side with those who believe that Correct article usage
the world’s
this
situation
will lead to a catastrophe.
On the one hand
, there might be some benefits of a high number
in population
. Add an article
the population
Firstly
, there might be numerous amount
of new factories
installed, it
may Correct pronoun usage
which
allows
Wrong verb form
allow
people
to have a bigger opportunity to have a job
despite the hard competition among job
seekers. This
,
leads to Remove the comma
apply
a high working activities
in a Correct the article-noun agreement
high working activities
a high working activity
country
that contributes to a higher GDP
in a country
. Furthermore
, numerous amount
of men can volunteer military
sectors to protect their countries.
Change preposition
in military
On the other
hand
, there are multiple drawbacks of a high population
. Firstly
, as Correct article usage
a numbers
numbers
of Fix the agreement mistake
number
factory
have been established to Fix the agreement mistake
factories
balance
the population
figures, this
leads to higher pollution
produced, that
Correct pronoun usage
which
affected
our atmosphere and leads to Wrong verb form
affects
a
climate change, even poor air quality that Correct article usage
apply
caused
various types of diseases. Wrong verb form
causes
Secondly
, as there are many factories
development
, there might be no space left to grow our Replace the word
developing
foods
or even running
a farm, Wrong verb form
run
there
might Correct word choice
and there
be no
enough Rephrase
not be
amount
of foods
to feed all communities. Fix the agreement mistake
food
This
, lead
to a hunger Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
situation
.
In conclusion, despite the high GDP
produced by having a high density
of Add a hyphen
high-density
population
. Therefore
, on balance
, I remain firmly convinced that the idea of having a high number
of people
in a country
can leads
to a Change the verb form
lead
situation
where no
enough food for all of the residents and foremost the high Correct your spelling
not
pollution
will bring many problems not only for the environment,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
our health.
A situation
where high
density of Add an article
a high
the high
population
is high is inevitable as modern technologies are supporting our medical facilities and have higher effectiveness in curing, leading to a
long longevity of Remove the article
apply
people
. While
some people
argue that an increase in world population
is needed and has benefit
in world’s economy and societal growth, I side with those who believe that Wrong verb form
benefited
this
situation
will lead to a world catastrophe.
On the one hand
, there might be some benefits of a high number
in population
. Add an article
the population
Firstly
, there might numerous
Add a missing verb
be numerous
amount
of new factories
installed, it
may Correct pronoun usage
which
allows
Change the verb form
allow
people
to have a bigger opportunity to have a job
despite the hard competition among job
seekers. This
,
leads to Remove the comma
apply
a high working activities
in a Correct the article-noun agreement
high working activities
a high working activity
country
that contributes to a higher GDP
. Furthermore
, numerous amount
of men can volunteer in
defend their Change preposition
to
country
against its oppositions
in Fix the agreement mistake
opposition
military
Correct article usage
the military
sectors
.
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
On the other
hand
, there are multiple drawbacks of a high population
. Firstly
, as Correct article usage
a numbers
numbers
of Fix the agreement mistake
number
factory
have been established to Fix the agreement mistake
factories
balance
the population
figures, this
leads to higher pollution
produced, that
Correct pronoun usage
which
affected
our atmosphere and leads to Wrong verb form
affects
a
climate change, even poor air quality that Correct article usage
apply
caused
various types of diseases. Wrong verb form
causes
Secondly
, as there are many factories
development
, there might be no land left to grow our Replace the word
developed
foods
or even running
a farm, Wrong verb form
run
there
might Correct word choice
and there
be no
enough Rephrase
not be
amount
of foods
to feed all communities. Fix the agreement mistake
food
This
, lead
to a hunger Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
situation
.
In conclusion, despite the high GDP
produced by having a high density
of Add a hyphen
high-density
population
. Therefore
, on balance
, I remain firmly convinced that the idea of having a high number
of people
in a country
can leads
to a Change the verb form
lead
situation
where no
enough food for all the residents and foremost the high Correct your spelling
not
pollution
will bring many problems not only for environment
, but Correct article usage
the environment
also
health.Submitted by vabeladita on
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coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow by ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. This will improve the overall coherence of the essay.
task achievement
Clarify and expand on your key ideas to present clear and comprehensive arguments. This will strengthen your task achievement score.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively presents both sides of the argument, which is essential for discussing the topic comprehensively.
complete response
You provide relevant points both for and against overpopulation, which shows a balanced approach to the essay topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.