Some children spend most of their free time taking part in clubs and other planned activities. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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In today's world, so many

classes

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are available for

children

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and

kids

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in order to spend time and learn something. The most important and crucial part of these activities is their content and what is

tought

Correct your spelling

taught

thought

these kind

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

show examples

of clubs .So they may have some benefits, but can still damage

children

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in some ways. In

this

Linking Words

essay , I will consider both views and give my opinion.

Children

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love to play, and they learn so many new lessons by playing games especially those that are involved with interaction with other

kids

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when

Capitalize word

When

show examples

parents decide to take their loved ones to attend

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apply

show examples

several

classes

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in order to fill their free time ,

children

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will get tired soon and their energy reduces .

Consequently

Linking Words

kids

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miss the opportunity to play and learn

alongside

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while

show examples

being entertained.

Moreover

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, when they become adults, they may feel something is missing in their soul and

that is

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the lack from their childhood. No matter how

succesful

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successful

they get

then

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, that feeling will not go away easily. As we can see these days in our surrounding ones who have many regrets about their past and they just want their

children

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Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not end up like them.

On the other hand

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, young people gain knowledge and experience by taking part in some

classes

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For instance

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, there are some special

classes

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for

children

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which help them find their talent and passion. So, parents will help their

children

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better in their future life and

approaching

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approach

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their dreams .

Therefore

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kids

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will be prepared for their future and will be less

confuse

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confused

show examples

about their will.

For example

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, they will not have to

chose

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choose

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different things and carriers to see which one they are good at as they already have found it.

To sum up

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, pre-planned activities and

classes

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can damage the childhood of

kids

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if they are too much and exhausting .And if not so, those clubs would be very useful for them and their future.

TUTOOTue Jul 09 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on ensuring logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will help to improve the overall coherence of your essay. For example, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.

task achievement

Make sure to fully develop and clearly explain each of your points. Use more specific examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your task achievement score.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps structure the essay.

task achievement

You addressed both views as required by the task and provided your opinion, which shows a complete response to the prompt.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

325 words

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Some children spend most of their free time taking part in clubs and other planned activities. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, people encourage their children to get a job or to travel after their secondary education and before their university education. What are the advantages or disadvantages of doing so?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some children spend a long time each day on their smartphones. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Some countries pay high salaries to its employees. It is argued that countries must not do it and impose limits on salaries. Do you agree or disagree ?