Some children spend most of their free time taking part in clubs and other planned activities. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#children #time #part #clubs #activities #outweigh

In today's world, so many

classes

are available for

children

and

kids

in order to spend time and learn something. The most important and crucial part of these activities is their content and what is

tought

Correct your spelling

taught

thought

these kind

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

show examples

of clubs .So they may have some benefits, but can still damage

children

in some ways. In

this

essay , I will consider both views and give my opinion.

Children

love to play, and they learn so many new lessons by playing games especially those that are involved with interaction with other

kids

when

Capitalize word

When

show examples

parents decide to take their loved ones to attend

Change preposition

apply

show examples

several

classes

in order to fill their free time ,

children

will get tired soon and their energy reduces .

Consequently

kids

miss the opportunity to play and learn

alongside

Change preposition

while

show examples

being entertained.

Moreover

, when they become adults, they may feel something is missing in their soul and

that is

the lack from their childhood. No matter how

succesful

Correct your spelling

successful

they get

then

, that feeling will not go away easily. As we can see these days in our surrounding ones who have many regrets about their past and they just want their

children

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not end up like them.

On the other hand

, young people gain knowledge and experience by taking part in some

classes

For instance

, there are some special

classes

for

children

which help them find their talent and passion. So, parents will help their

children

better in their future life and

approaching

Wrong verb form

approach

show examples

their dreams .

Therefore

kids

will be prepared for their future and will be less

confuse

Change the form of the verb

confused

show examples

about their will.

For example

, they will not have to

chose

Change the verb

choose

show examples

different things and carriers to see which one they are good at as they already have found it.

To sum up

, pre-planned activities and

classes

can damage the childhood of

kids

if they are too much and exhausting .And if not so, those clubs would be very useful for them and their future.

Submitted by TUTOO on Tue Jul 09 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on ensuring logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will help to improve the overall coherence of your essay. For example, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.

task achievement

Make sure to fully develop and clearly explain each of your points. Use more specific examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your task achievement score.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps structure the essay.

task achievement

You addressed both views as required by the task and provided your opinion, which shows a complete response to the prompt.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

325 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some children spend most of their free time taking part in clubs and other planned activities. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries have severe problems with students behavior. what do you this are the cause of this? what solution can you suggest?

These days many kids spend a lot of their time playing computer games instead of doing sports. What is the cause of this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?