The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The shown diagram shows how the process of making
sugar
from
sugar
cane is carried out in a factory, which
involues
Correct your spelling
involves
the use of various equipment . It is clear
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that, the process has multiple different stages
Correct your spelling
starting
show examples
staring
Correct your spelling
starting
show examples
from growing and ending with drying and cooling
To begin
with, one can see that the first
stages
Fix the agreement mistake
stage
show examples
is
sugar
cane is planted and nurtured for 12 to 18 months, after which the stalks are harvested. Harvesting is carried out either by a reaper or using a sickle. After that, a crusher
crushing
Wrong verb form
crushed
show examples
the
sugar
cane
juice
out of the
tree-trunk
Correct your spelling
tree trunk
show examples
, after which the
juice
purifying
Replace the word
was purified
show examples
juice
using a limestone filter. The subsequent step
involues
Correct your spelling
involves
evaporation, the resulting
juice
is heated in a kiln become syrup. Following that, syrup
put
Add a missing verb
was put
show examples
in a centrifuge
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to
seprating
Correct your spelling
separating
sugar
crystals from
syrup
Add an article
the syrup
show examples
.
Finally
, the
sugar
is dried and cooled before being packed and shipped to consumption sites.
Submitted by quynhtranhbh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, juice with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • transporting
  • factory
  • crushing
  • extracting
  • juice
  • filtering
  • impurities
  • heating
  • evaporating
  • syrup
  • boiling
  • crystallizing
  • sugar
  • separating
  • drying
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • stage
  • process
What to do next:
Look at other essays: