The provided bar chart depicts the changes in the percentage of overweight males and females in Australia over a thirty-year period, from 1980 to 2010.

IELTS Writing Task Chart for The provided bar chart depicts the changes in the percentage of overweight males and females in Australia over a thirty-year period, from 1980 to 2010.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The chart illustrates the proportion of overweighted

men

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and women in Australia

across

Change preposition

from

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples

the

Change the article

apply

It appears that the article usage before 1980 is incorrect. Consider making a change.

show examples

1980 to 2010. It is clearly shown that the percentage of

obese

Correct article usage

the obese

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples

population is slowly rising over the years with higher

prevenlence

Correct your spelling

prevalence

If you don’t want prevenlence to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

Change preposition

among

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples

men

Use synonyms

. For

men

Use synonyms

, there were exactly 40% of overweight

men

Use synonyms

in 1980 which climbed up sharply to over 60% in 2000,

then

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it dropped slightly but still maintained a high percentage of 60% in 2010. For women, the proportion of women having the weight problem is

noticebly

Correct your spelling

noticeably

If you don’t want noticebly to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

smaller than that compared to the

men

Use synonyms

across the years. It started off with approximately a quarter of the population in 1980, rising rapidly to

overly

Change the word

over

Overly seems to be the wrong part of speech for this context.

show examples

half of the population in 2000. It has remained static at over 50% since 2000.

hardychauWed Jul 10 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Add some linking words.

▼

Linking words: Add more linking words.

▼

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Replace the words men with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

1
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

126 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on the protection of wild animals, and that this should be spent on the human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Opinion is largely divided on the process of preserving feral animals diverts too much funding and time, while this should be spent on the human population. From my perspective, I advocate this trend to some extent and this essay will give further information.
6
band
Some people believe that children learn better when they are placed in classes with children of similar academic abilities. Others believe that children learn better when they are in classes with children representing a diverse range of academic abilities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is debatable for some people about the assumption of which situation could the children learn better. Some believe students in classes with similar academic abilities would be more beneficial in learning, while others believe that different academic capabilities will bring a more diverse perspective on how children study. This essay will elaborate more on these two points of view.
8
band
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe that they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
People hold different perspectives on whether professionals like doctors or engineers should be mandated to work in the country they did in their training or have the freedom to work abroad. While forcing them to work for their home countries has some explicit benefits, I deeply believe that enabling them to choose a workplace in their favour is more advantageous.
7.5
band
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
The current generation’s inclination towards conquering every aspect of life is quite evident. Presently, being competitive is not seen as a negative trait, but such characteristics are encouraged, especially among the youth. It is believed by many that an ambitious disposition is essential to survive in the fast-paced environment that we live in today. However, the value of being complaisant with peers is also recognized by certain segments of society. I feel that youngsters should be taught to be cooperative from an early age. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I will explore the topic from both these viewpoints.
8
band
Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?
It is important for people to consider which type of accommodation they should live in. While some believe it is better to live in a house, others feel that living in a flat offers more benefits. This essay will explain why I believe the drawbacks of living in a house are outweighed by its positives when compared to life in an apartment.

The provided bar chart depicts the changes in the percentage of overweight males and females in Australia over a thirty-year period, from 1980 to 2010.

Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on the protection of wild animals, and that this should be spent on the human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people believe that children learn better when they are placed in classes with children of similar academic abilities. Others believe that children learn better when they are in classes with children representing a diverse range of academic abilities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe that they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?