The provided bar chart depicts the changes in the percentage of overweight males and females in Australia over a thirty-year period, from 1980 to 2010.

IELTS Writing Task Chart for The provided bar chart depicts the changes in the percentage of overweight males and females in Australia over a thirty-year period, from 1980 to 2010.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The chart illustrates the proportion of overweighted

men

Use synonyms

and women in Australia

across

Change preposition

from

show examples

the

Change the article

apply

show examples

1980 to 2010. It is clearly shown that the percentage of

obese

Correct article usage

the obese

show examples

population is slowly rising over the years with higher

prevenlence

Correct your spelling

prevalence

Change preposition

among

show examples

men

Use synonyms

. For

men

Use synonyms

, there were exactly 40% of overweight

men

Use synonyms

in 1980 which climbed up sharply to over 60% in 2000,

then

Linking Words

it dropped slightly but still maintained a high percentage of 60% in 2010. For women, the proportion of women having the weight problem is

noticebly

Correct your spelling

noticeably

smaller than that compared to the

men

Use synonyms

across the years. It started off with approximately a quarter of the population in 1980, rising rapidly to

overly

Change the word

over

show examples

half of the population in 2000. It has remained static at over 50% since 2000.

hardychauWed Jul 10 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Add some linking words.

▼

Linking words: Add more linking words.

▼

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Replace the words men with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

1
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

126 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Most pe think that teenagers should choose their jobs more realistically, however some of them think that they should choose job that they like. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Choosing a job is difficult for teenagers.While if teenagers choose their job realistically it can make more profit,however working at the job that they want will bring more job satisfaction.
5
band
The only way to improve road safety is to give more stricter punishments for driving offences. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
Stricter punishment means there is an enhancement on the driving misbehaviours. To a small extent I agree on this argument. In the following essay I will explain on the supportive and disapproving reasons.
5.5
band
Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
Medication is fundamental in our lives to help people recover from illness. Poor countries suffer from a lack of remedies as their financial status is too low to buy them. It is my view that companies may be obligated to afford available products at a lower cost for these people, and the government shall help.
7.5
band
Many children today spend a lot of time on social media which hurts their grades. what is the cause of this? What can be done to solve this?
Nowadays, many children devote a significant amount of time to social media, which has a negative effect on their academic performance. I believe that understanding the root causes of this issue will help in identifying effective solutions to tackle it.
7
band
Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 254 words.
The high sales of popular consumer goods today are often attributed more to the influence of advertising than to genuine societal needs. I largely agree with this perspective, as advertising significantly shapes consumer preferences and creates artificial desires. However, it would be simplistic to ignore the role of actual demand entirely.

The provided bar chart depicts the changes in the percentage of overweight males and females in Australia over a thirty-year period, from 1980 to 2010.

Most pe think that teenagers should choose their jobs more realistically, however some of them think that they should choose job that they like. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The only way to improve road safety is to give more stricter punishments for driving offences. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Many children today spend a lot of time on social media which hurts their grades. what is the cause of this? What can be done to solve this?

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 254 words.