IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar graph illustrates the gross domestic product from IT and industry services in the UK throughout an 8-year period from 1992 to 2000.

The bar graph illustrates the gross domestic product from IT and industry services in the UK throughout an 8-year period from 1992 to 2000.
The bar graph illustrates the gross domestic product from IT and
industry
Use synonyms
 services in the UK throughout an 8-year period from 1992 to 2000. It is measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be seen from
chart
Add an article
the chart
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
IT and
service
Use synonyms
 stimulation remained increasing, but IT exceeded in proportions during the whole period. In the first year of the period,
service
Use synonyms
manufacture
Wrong verb form
manufacturing
show examples
 recorded 4% per cent,
while
Linking Words
IT
Correct article usage
the IT
show examples
 department
did
Verb problem
made
show examples
 more efforts to get roughly more than 6%. The next 4 years,
however
Linking Words
, saw a gradual
climbing
Replace the word
climb
show examples
 in both of them by the same ratio. Despite the continuous rise of
service
Use synonyms
 construction, IT suffered a slight drop from 9% to 7%. In 1998, it was figured that
IT
Correct article usage
the IT
show examples
industry
Use synonyms
 manipulated its productivity to avoid deviating from the track to reach 12% per cent. In
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
service
Add an article
the service
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industry
Use synonyms
, it was on its way to surge towards 7% but less than its competitor.
Finally
Linking Words
; IT knocked the peak
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
became
Verb problem
apply
show examples
roughly doubled as much as
Use synonyms
service
Correct article usage
the service
show examples
industry
Use synonyms
 by approximately 15% and 8% respectively.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words industry, service with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
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