IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The table below shows the number of temporary migrant worker in four countries in 2003 and 2006 and the number of these workers per 1,000 people in these countries in 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the number of temporary migrant worker in four countries in 2003 and 2006 and the number of these workers per 1,000 people in these countries in 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#worker #four #countries #workers #people #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given table displays the data about the
number
 of
employer
Change to a plural noun
employers
show examples
 who migrate
Temporary
Change the word
temporarily
show examples
 in four countries Australia, New
Zealand
, United Kingdom, and United States in
two
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 years 2003 and 2006.
As well
Rephrase
Also
show examples
,
this
 graph
provides how
Verb problem
shows
show examples
 many
Numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
Number
show examples
 of these
workers
 per 1000 people in 2006 in all countries.
overall
Capitalize word
Overall
show examples
, the
Numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
Number
show examples
 of these
workers
 increased gradually in these countries from the years 2003 to 2006.
Additionally
, the United States
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the highest
number
 in both years,
whereas
 New
Zealand
 had the lowest
number
 of
employer
Fix the agreement mistake
employers
show examples
. The
number
 of
workers
 in the United States started at 577 in 2003,
then
 went up to 678.A similar amount of increase
observed
Add a missing verb
was observed
show examples
 in the
number
 of Australia's
workers
, and the United Kingdom's
workers
,around 100
workers
 in 2003,arrived at Just above 200
workers
 in 2006,
By contrast
, New
Zealand
 had the
fewest
Correct your spelling
lowest
show examples
number
 of
workers
 being at 65 in 2003 and grow up by 20% in 2006. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
number
 per 1000 people, the order of
workers
 from the highest to lowest namely
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
state
Fix the agreement mistake
States
show examples
,Australia,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom and New
Zealand
Submitted by MM2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, zealand, workers with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 7 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • temporary migrant workers
  • trends
  • absolute numbers
  • per 1,000 people
  • growth rate
  • per capita
  • labor markets
  • economies
  • significant
  • imply
What to do next:
Look at other essays: