The graphs below show the percentage of men and women aged 60-64 who were employed in four countries in 1970 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make compparisons where relevant.

The graphs below show the percentage of men and women aged 60-64 who were employed in four countries in 1970 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make compparisons where relevant.
The bar charts above
compares
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compare
show examples
the employment status of 60-64
years
old
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
from 1970 to 2000
amongst
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in
show examples
4 countries, Belgium, the United
State
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States
show examples
, Japan and Australia. It is clearly stated that
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
generally have
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
employment rate than
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
.
Although
the number of old
men
being hired dropped from 1970 to 2000, there was no significant change in the number of hired old women at the same time. Across the countries, the number of employed
men
with the age over 60 significantly dropped after 30
years
. Belgium suffered the greatest reduction from nearly 80% to under 20%.
While
Australian employed
men
halved from nearly 80% across the
years
.
Correct your spelling
Although
Alothough
Correct your spelling
Although
USA and Japan
didnt
Correct your spelling
didn't
witness
such
dramatic
Correct article usage
a dramatic
show examples
decline,
USA
Change noun form
USA's
show examples
working
men
also
reduced from over 70% to under 60% in 2000 and
Japan
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in Japan
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working
men
also
witnessed a noticeable drop from over 85% to over 70% The
women
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women's
show examples
employment status remains relatively stable across the two
years
. Belgium has the lowest hiring rate of under one-tenth across the
years
, Australian women increased slightly from 16% to 18% in 2000.
US
Correct article usage
The US
show examples
only showed a 3% increase from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
36% in 1970. Japanese suffered a small reduction of 3% from 43%.
Submitted by hardychau on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Vocabulary: Replace the words years, men with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reduction" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.

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