IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The pie chart shows the minutes spent per day on leisure activities in the UK in 1961. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The pie chart shows the minutes spent per day on leisure activities in the UK in 1961. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
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The pie chart shows the time spent on various hobbies in the UK over six decades ago. In 1961,
people
Use synonyms
 in the UK mostly watched television or listened to the radio in their leisure time. On average they spent almost half their free time on these activities. After that came other unspecified pastimes, which took up about an hour and a quarter a
day
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 did not seem to socialise a great deal, as
this
Linking Words
 accounted for only 35 minutes in a typical
day
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 ate out, went to the cinema or entertained themselves in other ways outside the home for an average of 28 minutes a
day
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 played sports or walked for an average of only 9 minutes a
day
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, day with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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