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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie charts describe the proportion
Change preposition
of unhealty
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unhealty
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
 food
in
Change preposition
with
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 three different nutrients if it
are
Change the verb form
is
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 consumed too much. The most significant facts to emerge from the graph are that
dinner
Use synonyms
 has the highest portion in three types
nutrients
Change preposition
of nutrients
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 than others
while
Linking Words
breakfast
Use synonyms
 has the lowest percentage of all nutrition consumptions. Looking at the details,
dinner
Use synonyms
 and lunch are eating time which
have
Change the verb form
has
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 the biggest percentage of typical meals which consists of sodium at 43% and 29% and saturated fat at 37% and 26% respectively.
While
Linking Words
breakfast
Use synonyms
 and
snacks consumptions
Fix the agreement mistake
snack consumption
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 are not as large as
than
Change preposition
apply
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lunch and
dinner
Use synonyms
portion
Fix the agreement mistake
portions
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. Where the number of sodium in
breakfast
Use synonyms
 and snacks are same about 14%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, snacks
dominates
Change the verb form
dominate
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 sugar nutrient Which achieves almost
a
Correct article usage
apply
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half and the second
high
Correct word choice
highest
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 sugar consumption is
dinner
Use synonyms
 which
has
Verb problem
is
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 23%.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
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breakfast
Use synonyms
 and lunch contain less sugar Just under 20% .

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words dinner, breakfast with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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