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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the usage of oil in four different countries between 1966 and 2006 as a percentage of total energuy use within each nation.

The graph below shows the usage of oil in four different countries between 1966 and 2006 as a percentage of total energuy use within each nation.
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The line graph shows the
oil
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usage
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 in four different countries – Iceland,
Sweden
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, Italy, and Turkey – as a percentage of total energy use from 1966 to 2006. One notable observation is that the proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
oil
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usage
Use synonyms
 in Iceland remained the highest throughout the entire
period
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, accounting for around 90%. One exception was in 2006
,
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apply
show examples
 when Turkey surpassed it. At the beginning of
this
Linking Words
period
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, Turkey was the lowest country whose percentage of
oil
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usage
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only
Add a missing verb
was only
show examples
 recorded
60
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at 60
show examples
%.
However
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,
this
Linking Words
 country started to skyrocket
from
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in
show examples
 1976 and had the highest percentage
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
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. It is
also
Linking Words
 easy to notice that both
Sweden
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 and Italy
dewindled
Correct your spelling
dwindled
 sharply at the same time.
Sweden
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, which had 80% of
oil
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usage
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 in 1966 fell by half in 2006, and Italy even decreased from 70% in 1996 to 20% in 2006, falling by 3 times compared to the starting
period
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.
Overall
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, the line graph clearly shows that both Iceland and
Sweden
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 made up
of
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apply
show examples
around 90%
regarding
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of
show examples
 the proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
oil
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usage
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,
while
Linking Words
Sweden
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 and Italy experienced
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
abrupt decreases altogether between 1966 and 2006.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words oil, usage, sweden, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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