IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#expenditure #three #categories #age #groups #residents #uk #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given chart elucidates the amount of money that
had been
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 used
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 three
categories
Use synonyms
 by different
age
Use synonyms
 groups of citizens in the UK in 2004. As can be seen from the chart, the figure for food and drink consumption increased moderately from the lowest
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 which was below 30
years
Use synonyms
 old to the highest
age
Use synonyms
 association which was above 76
years
Use synonyms
 old.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,the other two
categories
Use synonyms
 witnessed a fluctuation
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 citizens' expenditure.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the proportion of expenditure on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food and drink grew from 6
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 in the youngest
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 to over 23
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in the oldest
age
Use synonyms
class
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the percentage of total spending on entertainment saw an uprising from the under 30
years
Use synonyms
 old
categories
Use synonyms
 to the 61-75
years
Use synonyms
 old
class
Use synonyms
 which
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
 shared the same highest point in
total
Add an article
a total
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
value that was spent in three kinds of
categories
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 experienced a significant drop to 13
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in the
last
Linking Words
 given
class
Use synonyms
.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, the proportion of restaurant and hotel investment dropped slightly from 14
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in the first
group
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 stayed unchanged in the next two groups at 12
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
then
Linking Words
 saw a
sharply
Change the adverb
sharp
show examples
 decline to its lowest point at 2
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
then
Linking Words
 grew to the same percentage of the first
group
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 given
class
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ieltsmeister.academic on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words categories, age, group, years, percent, class with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: