IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is widely believed that learning
English
Use synonyms
 should be prioritized over the learning of native
languages
Use synonyms
 within an academic environment. I believe the
English
Use synonyms
language
Use synonyms
 has taken precedence over all others in the present world
hence
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, it is crucial to be spoken and understood by everyone so as not to be left out in the global community.
To begin
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 with, it is imperative to teach every child
English
Use synonyms
 because it has become the world's common
language
Use synonyms
.
That is
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, everyone needs to have at least a basic knowledge of
English
Use synonyms
 to operate at the international level.
Additionally
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, most countries
such
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 as Nigeria, Ghana, Morocco, and other African countries have adopted
this
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language
Use synonyms
 as either their first or second official
language
Use synonyms
, thereby increasing the population of
English
Use synonyms
 speakers.
For instance
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,
English
Use synonyms
 is the lingua Franca in most international business meetings, research institutions etc a good
use
Use synonyms
 of it would save the hassles that come with
language
Use synonyms
 barriers and the need for translators.
Thus
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, giving room for an enriched, convenient flow of conversations, sharing of ideas
as well
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as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 knowledge acquisition.
However
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,
language
Use synonyms
 is one factor that defines culture and
hence
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 should not be allowed to phase out. Parents should be encouraged to frequently
use
Use synonyms
 their local
languages
Use synonyms
 among the kids
while
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 at home or during family gatherings.
This
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 means that
while
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 the teachers in school teach them other necessary foreign
languages
Use synonyms
, the biggest onus is on families to inculcate these cultural values in their children,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
especially during the learning age when they can easily imbibe
the
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. Based on facts in Nigeria, recent research has shown that more than 50% of the population have excellent
use
Use synonyms
 of
English
Use synonyms
as well as
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 their local
languages
Use synonyms
 and
this
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 has been attributed to the respective contributions of teachers in school and the parents at home. In conclusion, I believe in the utmost importance of exposing kids to the learning of
English
Use synonyms
 in schools
while
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 their mother tongue can be preserved by teaching and encouraging the
use
Use synonyms
 of their native
languages
Use synonyms
 at home more often

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task achievement
You have provided a balanced viewpoint, emphasizing the importance of learning English and preserving local languages. However, try to give more specific examples or statistical data to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs. While the essay is logically structured, enhancing the flow of ideas can improve readability.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, 'phase out' should be 'phased out', and there are a few instances of missing or misplaced commas.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in presenting a well-rounded argument.
task achievement
Your essay covers multiple perspectives, showing depth in your analysis of the issue.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as the example of Nigeria, which illustrates your points effectively.
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