The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The first pie chart illustrates
energy
Correct article usage
the energy
show examples
consumption percentage in an average Australian family
whereas
the second pie chart illustrates the percentage of
greenhouse
gas
emitted from those
energy
consumption.
Overally
Correct your spelling
Overall
, there are 8
category
Change to a plural noun
categories
show examples
for both pie charts consisting of heating, refrigerator, cooling, lighting and other appliances. Heating is the largest
energy
usage
in any Australian family comprising
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
42% but contributes lesser
greenhouse
gas
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
of 15% when compared to water heating where it contributes
almost
Add an article
an almost
show examples
equal percentage of
energy
usage
and
greenhouse
gas
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
of
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
30% and 32% respectively.
Although
,
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
only use 7% of
energy
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
the
emission
of
greenhouse
gas
is
double
Wrong verb form
doubled
show examples
which is at 14%.
Similarly
,
this
is seen in
energy
use in lighting and other appliances in which the
greenhouse
gas
emission
percentages are actually double
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
energy
usage
.
Howevever
Correct your spelling
However
, there is only
1
Correct article usage
a 1
show examples
%
differences
Fix the agreement mistake
difference
show examples
between
energy
usage
and
greenhouse
gas
emission
in cooling
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
.
Submitted by coke_sars on

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, greenhouse, gas, usage, emission with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Average Australian household
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Energy consumption
  • Activities
  • Heating
  • Cooling
  • Water heating
  • Appliances
  • Lighting
  • Standby
  • Percentage (%)
  • Consumption patterns
  • Efficiency
  • Emissions impact
  • Renewable energy
  • Energy-saving measures
  • Sustainability
  • Carbon footprint
  • Electricity
  • Natural gas
  • Emissions breakdown
  • Energy audit
  • Environmental impact
  • Conservation
  • Mitigation strategies
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