Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations

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In
this
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day and age, bad
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situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
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always
appears
Correct subject-verb agreement
appear
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such
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as unhappy
job
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jobs
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and a lack of
money
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. Some people think that these
Situations
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to be accepted
while
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others say that
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
this
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Situation
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is a better option.
This
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essay discusses both viewpoints and I strongly agree with the latter opinion for the following reasons. On the one hand, accepting the bad
situation
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of unhappy
Jobs
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and shortage of
money
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helps to retain employment
otherwise
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people have to find new
jobs
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frequently.
For example
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, a new teacher faces plenty of troubles at school like noise, but she has to take some advice from the Senior teachers
how
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on how
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to handle
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this adverse
Change the determiner
this adverse situation
these adverse situations
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situations
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. Patients and experience can be assisted to accept
there
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their
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worst
situation
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.
Money
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does not provide any happiness
nor
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or
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Satisfaction, so mankind should accept the adverse
situations
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what
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that
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they have.
Conversely
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, these
situations
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should be improved because Life is a learning
Process
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process
show examples
, so humans try to develop them
worse
Change preposition
in worse
show examples
Use synonyms
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
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.
For instance
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, employees feel they earn a minimum amount of salary but they work hands they have all
rights
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right
show examples
to change their
Jobs
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where recognise their talent and ability by providing Job Satisfaction and
money
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are the most crucial
aspect
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aspects
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a
Change preposition
of a
show examples
high salary. Indeed of
People
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People's
show examples
lives, so, they have to change their bad
situation
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to better positions. Ergo,
this
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situation
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should be changed by trying. In conclusion,
Correct word choice
apply
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although
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, accepting
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
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situation
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helps to retain employment and it avoids
find
Wrong verb form
finding
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a new job;
changing
Correct word choice
and changing
show examples
. their positions by trying and finding new work or new life.
However
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, in my opinion, bad
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situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
should be altered
coupled with
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improved
Replace the word
improvement
show examples
from
worst
Replace the word
worse
show examples
to better by finding new
jobs
Use synonyms
and new life.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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clear comprehensive ideas
Try to ensure that your ideas are presented clearly and comprehensively. While your essay contains good ideas, some of them lack clarity due to grammar and phrasing issues. Focus on constructing sentences that are easy to follow.
relevant specific examples
Make sure to include relevant and specific examples to support your main points. For instance, the example of the teacher facing troubles at school could be expanded to provide more context and details.
logical structure
Pay attention to your essay's structure. Although your essay has a discernible introduction and conclusion, the organization of your main points could be improved. Consider using paragraphs more effectively to separate and develop each idea.
complete response
You have clearly responded to the task, addressing both viewpoints and providing reasons for your opinion.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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