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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

#week #workers #weekend
Work has sought to make a profit,
thus
 it has been ranked as our initiative requirement. In order to have a good quality
life
Change preposition
of life
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, it is compelled to balance between working hours and our daily life. To logically solve
this
 complicated equation, I personally agree with the idea of expanding weekend time. On the one hand, I accept that it is a
socially
Change the adverb
social
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 obligation to find a good opportunity with
suitable
Correct article usage
a suitable
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 job description and practical atmosphere.
For instance
, work should cover our running costs,
such
 as payments
of
Change preposition
for
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 apartments and utilities. On top of these costs, if the working environment acquires to keep the employee, it must contribute
in
Change preposition
to
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 his prosperity,
welfare
Correct word choice
and welfare
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 innovation.
In other words
, it would achieve these circumstances by limiting the working days and minimizing the load.
On the other hand
, in order to increasingly expect voluminous impacts, the chief executive officers should invest in workers and employees by giving them
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sufficient time to take a rest.
For example
, one of the best working environments,
however
,
where
Add a missing verb
is where
show examples
 the
stuff
Correct your spelling
staff
show examples
 aims to finalize the target without feeling stressed or depressed. In theory, these detrimental contradictions come with low productivity, and omitting them is by no means an easy task to
be implemented
Wrong verb form
implement
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. To summarize and conclude, if you
need
Add the particle
need to
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 enjoy your own private routine, you acknowledge the proportion of your time to
oberate
Correct your spelling
operate
 it to flourish your community.
Submitted by Mido  on

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coherence cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that supporting points are directly related to the main idea. This will improve the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph flows smoothly to the next, perhaps by using more linking words or phrases. This can help in making your essay more cohesive.
task achievement
Expand on examples and ensure that they are directly relevant to your main points. This will strengthen the support for your arguments.
task achievement
Some sentences are unclear and could be rephrased for better clarity. Make sure your ideas are expressed as clearly as possible.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your essay well.
task achievement
You discuss both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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