IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The line graph provides us with information about number of books that were rented from various libraries from june to september 2014 while the pie chart presents percentage of borrowed books' genre.

The line graph provides us with information about number of books that were rented from various libraries from june to september 2014 while the pie chart presents percentage of borrowed books' genre.
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The line chart illustrates how many books were rented from different four libraries
between
Change preposition
over

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 4 months in 2014.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it can be seen that the popularity of all book markets increased over time, with the notable exception of Ryeslip. The number of books bought from West Eaton and Church Mount stood at the same level of 50 at the beginning of the period.
Subsequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
first
Change the article
the first

It appears that the phrase first library does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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 library saw a significant rise of 30% in August and after that peaked at 150
at the end
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 of the time,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the second went up to
the
Correct article usage
an

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 equal number in September, despite past fluctuations. Regarding other libraries, Ryeslip was the most popular at the start, but witnessed a dramatic fall to just over 150 and lost 50% of customers.
In contrast
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the number of rented books went up in Sutton Wood, after
sharp
Correct article usage
a sharp

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 drop by more
that
Correct word choice
than

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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 50 per cent in August.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
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