Government investment in the visual arts, the kind you commonly see in art galleries, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#government #investment #arts #art #galleries #waste #money #governments #services

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There is no

dening

Correct your spelling

denying

the fact that visual

arts

are becoming one of the most important instruments which represent societies these days, that gives nations the opportunity to get to know each others'

culture

relatively.

While

it is a commonly held belief that authorities investing in visual

arts

is a waste of money

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apply

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and that they have to spend

this

money

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show examples

public services

instead

, there is

also

an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I think both arguments should be

considerated

Correct your spelling

considered

since they are both right.

To begin

with, visual

arts

play a crucial role in preserving

culture

Replace the word

cultural

show examples

heritage

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apply

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and fostering community identity.

In other words

, they represent

countries

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countries'

country's

show examples

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

in a more lively way which will

defenitely

Correct your spelling

definitely

demonstrate

Correct article usage

a more

show examples

abvious

Correct your spelling

obvious

image

about

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show examples

the

culture

which

allow

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allows

show examples

both

citezens

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citizens

proudness

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pride

show examples

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apply

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and tourist attraction, thereby generating revenue. So governments can use it in improving other significant

sectores

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sectors

In addition

, investing in visual

arts

can boost mental well-being and facilitate social cohesion.

Accordingly

, art galleries offer a space for reflection and

disscussion

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discussion

, and that

what

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is what

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it takes to make people deeply think about the

peice

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piece

price

of art because of the

curiousity

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curiosity

of figuring

aut

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out

the story behind it, contributing to societal development. Another point to consider, essential public services like healthcare, education, and infrastructure should take priority when it comes to financial

invesment

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investment

investments

Accurantly

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Accurately

, these sectors directly impact citizens' quality of life and economic stability, meantime

take

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takes

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the individuals' full

inerest

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interest

Moreover

, in times of budget constraints, funds ought to be allocated to urgent needs

as well as

emergency situations.

For instance

, unemployment

sevcise

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services

service

, or sudden natural

disaster

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disasters

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, accounted for

government

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the government

show examples

s' first priority, so in order to get the

propriate

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appropriate

responce

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response

countries

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countries'

country's

show examples

funds must be mostly under these circumstances service. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I advocate investing more effectively in public services than visual

arts

, but

this

does not limit

the

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its

show examples

critical role

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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Submitted by salmanasrnasr on Thu Jul 11 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar

Address minor spelling mistakes like 'dening' should be 'denying', 'citezens' should be 'citizens', 'defenitely' should be 'definitely', and 'sevcise' which appears to be a typo.

grammar

Improve the variety of sentence structures to showcase more advanced grammatical range.

structure

Improve coherence, particularly in the introduction and conclusion, for a more cohesive argument throughout the essay. Ensure your introductory statements clearly lay out what is to come and your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument.

content

You have included both sides of the argument which makes your essay balanced and well-rounded.

structure

The essay's structure has clear paragraphs addressing main points, which contributes to overall organization and readability.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

317 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural heritage
Tourist attraction
Generates revenue
Mental well-being
Social cohesion
Societal development
Quality of life
Economic stability
Budget constraints
Unemployment services
Emergency response infrastructure
Balanced approach

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Government investment in the visual arts, the kind you commonly see in art galleries, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is a natural process that animal species such as dinosaurs become extinct. There is no reason for people to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree.