Government investment in the visual arts, the kind you commonly see in art galleries, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
There is no
dening
the fact that visual Correct your spelling
denying
arts
are becoming one of the most important instruments which represent societies these days, that gives nations the opportunity to get to know each others' culture
relatively. While
it is a commonly held belief that authorities investing in visual arts
is a waste of money,
and that they have to spend Remove the comma
apply
this
money in
public services Change preposition
on
instead
, there is also
an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I think both arguments should be considerated
since they are both right.
Correct your spelling
considered
To begin
with, visual arts
play a crucial role in preserving culture
heritageReplace the word
cultural
,
and fostering community identity. Remove the comma
apply
In other words
, they represent countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
culture
in a more lively way which will Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
defenitely
demonstrate Correct your spelling
definitely
more
Correct article usage
a more
abvious
image Correct your spelling
obvious
about
the Change preposition
of
culture
which allow
both Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
citezens
Correct your spelling
citizens
proudness
Replace the word
pride
,
and tourist attraction, thereby generating revenue. So governments can use it in improving other significant Remove the comma
apply
sectores
. Correct your spelling
sectors
In addition
, investing in visual arts
can boost mental well-being and facilitate social cohesion.Accordingly
, art galleries offer a space for reflection and disscussion
, and that Correct your spelling
discussion
what
it takes to make people deeply think about the Add a missing verb
is what
peice
of art because of the Correct your spelling
piece
price
curiousity
of figuring Correct your spelling
curiosity
aut
the story behind it, contributing to societal development.
Another point to consider, essential public services like healthcare, education, and infrastructure should take priority when it comes to financial Correct your spelling
out
invesment
.Correct your spelling
investment
investments
Accurantly
, these sectors directly impact citizens' quality of life and economic stability, meantime Correct your spelling
Accurately
take
the individuals' full Change the verb form
takes
inerest
. Correct your spelling
interest
Moreover
, in times of budget constraints, funds ought to be allocated to urgent needs as well as
emergency situations. For instance
, unemployment sevcise
, or sudden natural Correct your spelling
services
service
disaster
, accounted for Fix the agreement mistake
disasters
government
s' first priority, so in order to get the Correct article usage
the government
propriate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
responce
Correct your spelling
response
countries
funds must be mostly under these circumstances service.
In conclusion, despite people having different views, I advocate investing more effectively in public services than visual Change noun form
countries'
country's
arts
, but this
does not limit the
critical role Change the word
its
of
Change preposition
apply
it
.Correct pronoun usage
apply
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grammar
Address minor spelling mistakes like 'dening' should be 'denying', 'citezens' should be 'citizens', 'defenitely' should be 'definitely', and 'sevcise' which appears to be a typo.
grammar
Improve the variety of sentence structures to showcase more advanced grammatical range.
structure
Improve coherence, particularly in the introduction and conclusion, for a more cohesive argument throughout the essay. Ensure your introductory statements clearly lay out what is to come and your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument.
content
You have included both sides of the argument which makes your essay balanced and well-rounded.
structure
The essay's structure has clear paragraphs addressing main points, which contributes to overall organization and readability.