Government investment in the visual arts, the kind you commonly see in art galleries, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

There is no
dening
Correct your spelling
denying
the fact that visual
arts
are becoming one of the most important instruments which represent societies these days, that gives nations the opportunity to get to know each others'
culture
relatively.
While
it is a commonly held belief that authorities investing in visual
arts
is a waste of money
,
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apply
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and that they have to spend
this
money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
public services
instead
, there is
also
an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I think both arguments should be
considerated
Correct your spelling
considered
since they are both right.
To begin
with, visual
arts
play a crucial role in preserving
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
heritage
,
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apply
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and fostering community identity.
In other words
, they represent
countries
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countries'
country's
show examples
culture
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cultures
show examples
in a more lively way which will
defenitely
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definitely
demonstrate
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
abvious
Correct your spelling
obvious
image
about
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of
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the
culture
which
allow
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allows
show examples
both
citezens
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citizens
proudness
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pride
show examples
,
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apply
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and tourist attraction, thereby generating revenue. So governments can use it in improving other significant
sectores
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sectors
.
In addition
, investing in visual
arts
can boost mental well-being and facilitate social cohesion.
Accordingly
, art galleries offer a space for reflection and
disscussion
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discussion
, and that
what
Add a missing verb
is what
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it takes to make people deeply think about the
peice
Correct your spelling
piece
price
of art because of the
curiousity
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curiosity
of figuring
aut
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out
the story behind it, contributing to societal development. Another point to consider, essential public services like healthcare, education, and infrastructure should take priority when it comes to financial
invesment
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investment
investments
.
Accurantly
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Accurately
, these sectors directly impact citizens' quality of life and economic stability, meantime
take
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takes
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the individuals' full
inerest
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interest
.
Moreover
, in times of budget constraints, funds ought to be allocated to urgent needs
as well as
emergency situations.
For instance
, unemployment
sevcise
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services
service
, or sudden natural
disaster
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disasters
show examples
, accounted for
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
s' first priority, so in order to get the
propriate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
responce
Correct your spelling
response
countries
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countries'
country's
show examples
funds must be mostly under these circumstances service. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I advocate investing more effectively in public services than visual
arts
, but
this
does not limit
the
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its
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critical role
of
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apply
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it
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apply
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.
Submitted by salmanasrnasr on

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grammar
Address minor spelling mistakes like 'dening' should be 'denying', 'citezens' should be 'citizens', 'defenitely' should be 'definitely', and 'sevcise' which appears to be a typo.
grammar
Improve the variety of sentence structures to showcase more advanced grammatical range.
structure
Improve coherence, particularly in the introduction and conclusion, for a more cohesive argument throughout the essay. Ensure your introductory statements clearly lay out what is to come and your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument.
content
You have included both sides of the argument which makes your essay balanced and well-rounded.
structure
The essay's structure has clear paragraphs addressing main points, which contributes to overall organization and readability.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Tourist attraction
  • Generates revenue
  • Mental well-being
  • Social cohesion
  • Societal development
  • Quality of life
  • Economic stability
  • Budget constraints
  • Unemployment services
  • Emergency response infrastructure
  • Balanced approach
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