IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The working week should be shorter, and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

#week #workers #weekend
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In the
company
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,
work
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hour
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 is part of the workload, and rules that every worker
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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 to complete before they
will
Verb problem
apply
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return
to
Change preposition
apply
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home. Every
employee
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 has different
work
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hours
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 and some corporations give weekend overtime. Some people believe that it is essential to
employee
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 acquire sufficient
rest
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Use synonyms
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
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 and have holiday
time
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.
In
Change preposition
This
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this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss why sufficient
rest
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Use synonyms
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
is
Verb problem
are more
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 essential for
Use synonyms
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
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 than working
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
long
hours
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 every day. First and foremost, the
employee
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 is human and their power every
week day
Correct your spelling
weekday
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had
Wrong verb form
has
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 been taken by working in
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company
Add an article
the company
a company
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, they
also
Linking Words
 need to take a
rest
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instead
Linking Words
 of still contemplating with many documents
in
Change preposition
on
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 the desk every
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hours
Change to a singular noun
hour
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.
However
Linking Words
, some ventures have their standard
work
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hours
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 and force the
individuals
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 to
keep
Verb problem
remain
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 productive
in
Change preposition
at
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 their job desk
although
Linking Words
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
holiday
time
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.
For example
Linking Words
 in
logistics
Correct article usage
a logistics
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company
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, manpower and
engineer
Fix the agreement mistake
engineers
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 continue working on the weekend to keep the accuracy of the system and goods in warehouses. Regarding the standard operation of
Use synonyms
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
, if the
work
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-
hour
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 system continues for a longer
time
Use synonyms
, it will reduce the creativity and performance of employees, and their
work
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 productivity will gradually decline
for
Change preposition
due to
show examples
burn out
Correct your spelling
burnout
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 and not spending
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sufficient
time
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 to boost their stress outside of
work
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 environment. The more
individuals
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stress
Wrong verb form
are stressed
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 and pressured
for
Change preposition
by
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 an enormous number of
jobdesk
Correct your spelling
job desks
 and
work
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Use synonyms
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
, the less
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 will have the creativity and best performance towards their position.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, the
company
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 can tackle the low inspiration
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
engineer
Fix the agreement mistake
engineers
show examples
 through the
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work
Add a hyphen
work-life
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life
Use synonyms
 balance system.
This
Linking Words
 made
individuals
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will be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
enjoy
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
work
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 and
being
Wrong verb form
be
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 productive in the goal of
complete
Wrong verb form
completing
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 their project.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
individuals
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 will
positive
Change the word
positively
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to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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level up their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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 and the balance of
life
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 from
Use synonyms
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 will beneficial for
Use synonyms
company
Add an article
the company
a company
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 to obtain
candidate
Fix the agreement mistake
candidates
show examples
 who can develop their industry and environment to pursue the
company
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’s target. In conclusion, the
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work
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 balance is crucial to make worker keep their performance and quality in
work
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. The longer
work
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hours
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 will hinder their creativity and inspiration to complete their tasks. The
employee
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 should receive
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sufficient
time
Use synonyms
 for
rest
Use synonyms
 on the weekend to enjoy their
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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grammar and mechanics
Make sure to use consistent and correct tense throughout the essay. For example, 'work hour is part of the workload' should be 'work hours are part of the workload.'
vocabulary
Try to avoid repetitive phrases and use varied vocabulary to enhance readability. For instance, 'their power every week day had been taken' can be rephrased as 'their energy is drained every weekday,'
task achievement
Use specific, concrete examples to support your points. For instance, provide a real-life example or statistic about a company that reduced work hours and saw improved productivity.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing the overall argument effectively.
coherence
Key points are logically structured and lead the reader through the argument naturally.
content
The essay addresses the topic of work hours versus sufficient rest hours, discussing both sides of the argument adequately.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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