The chart below gives information on the percentage of Canadians who gave money to charitable organisations by age range for the years 2000 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words

The chart below gives information on the percentage of Canadians who gave money to charitable organisations by age range for the years 2000 and 2015. 

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words
The bar chart provides information on the proportion of Canadians who donated
money
to
charities
by different
age
groups for the years 2000 and 2015. Units are measured in percentages.
Overall
, a higher percentage of Canadians donated
money
to
charities
in 2000 compared to 2015. The most charitable
age
groups were the middle-aged and elderly
people
and the least charitable were the youngsters. In 2000, a greater number of
people
gave
money
to
charities
compared to 2015. The youngest
age
group (18-24) donated 20% of
money
in 2000
while
less than 15% gave
money
in 2015.
This
was
also
true for those aged between 25 to 34. Nearly 30% of
people
donated in 2000
whereas
this
number declined to 25% in 2015. Canadians aged between 35 to 49 donated more in 2015 compared to younger
age-groups
Correct your spelling
age groups
show examples
. Around 35% of
people
gave
money
to
charities
compared to only 10% of youngsters (18-24).
Furthermore
, the older
age
- groups donated more in 2015 than
2000
Change preposition
in 2000
show examples
. Those aged 50-64 gave nearly 40% of
money
Correct pronoun usage
their money
show examples
in 2015 which was more than 5% in 2000.
In addition
, the oldest
age
group (65 and over)
also
gave more
money
in 2015 which was about 35% compared to 2000 which was around 33%.
Submitted by mraha409 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Vocabulary: Replace the words money, charities, age, people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "gave" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: