IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The best way that a government can reduce the traffic congestion in cities is to provide public transport free of cost to people 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #traffic #congestion #cities #transport #cost #people #hours #week
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There is no denying the fact that
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion is causing serious trouble and should be solved wisely.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that authorities could decrease the
traffic
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 in streets by providing public
transportation
Use synonyms
 with no fees to
people
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 , there is
also
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 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that the government should make
transportation
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 free to tackle
this
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 issue .
To begin
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 with, by making the
transportation
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 with no fees the
traffic
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 will decrease gradually .
In other words
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Add a comma
,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 will stop utilizing their own cars and
this
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 could stand to be a great major in dealing with
traffic
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 issues .
In addition
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Add a comma
,
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decreasing the number of cars in the cities, could help the environment in a couple of
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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such
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 as, less spreading carbon dioxide and a decline in the consumption of fuel .
For example
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 , the metro of London makes less
traffic
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 and crowds in the streets and
this
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 was great for success . Another point to consider making
the
Correct article usage
apply
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transportation
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 with no charge for the
people
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 will make the country safer and modern . It is
also
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 possible to say that less using cars will
decline
Verb problem
reduce
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 the amount of incidents that happen every day on the streets .
Moreover
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 , metro and trains must be constructed in every advanced and developing country.
For instance
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, the bullet train in China is a great train that can pick up a large scale of
people
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 in it . In conclusion, despite
people
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 having different views , I believe that public
transportation
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 is a significant thing in any country not only making it developed and modern but
also
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 enhancing the
people
Use synonyms
 to be safer .
Submitted by pcah70 on

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coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical structure by organizing the paragraphs more cohesively, ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next.
task achievement
Improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas by elaborating on your points more thoroughly and providing more detailed examples.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the issue, which is a strong component of task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, helping to frame the argument effectively.
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