Each year the crime rate increases.What are causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?
There is an upward trend in
number
of Change the article
a number
the number
crime
activities during the each
following year.Correct determiner usage
apply
Main
causes of criminal Correct article usage
The main
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
involves
family background and moral issues ,whilst the measures Change the verb form
involve
such
as Correct article usage
the investiagtaion
investiagtaion
of Correct your spelling
investigations
investigation
offender’s
family and the services related to teaching moral Correct article usage
the offender’s
values
to people
from very
young age can avoid Add an article
a very
this
increase.
To begin
with , some elderly people
and children suffer from the
abuse from their relatives or family members. Correct article usage
apply
Thus
,sometimes their families force these victims into commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
such
as burglary , robbery, carjacking and so on.As the family members threat
those elderly individuals and kids ,those victims will Replace the word
threaten
get
no choice but Verb problem
have
continue
to engage in criminal activities to survive. Fix the infinitive
to continue
For instance
, the statistics show that Chicago has most
significant rate of Correct article usage
the most
people
who have experinced
abuse during their lifetime.Correct your spelling
experienced
Following
this
, this
city has 3rd place among the ones that recorded the highest crime
rate .Moreover
, nowadays more people
lack of
honesty so they do not respect Remove the preposition
apply
much
other individuals .Change the quantifier
many
As a consequence
, these kind
of offenders Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
are
mainly involved in identity theft, Change the verb form
is
humantrafficking
, Correct your spelling
human trafficking
human-trafficking
drugtrafficking
and fraud.They simply do not care the moral Correct your spelling
drug trafficking
drug-trafficking
values
and not
have Add a missing verb
do not
feeling
of empathy towards the world.
As Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
effective
solution to tackle Correct article usage
an effective
jump
in criminal behaviour , the court may investigate the families of those claimed for Correct article usage
the jump
crime
scene.The police officers and detectives may implement in-depth analysis of the behaviour and historical records of family members to identify whether they have Add an article
the crime
a crime
suspectful
Correct your spelling
suspect
respectful
activites
and Correct your spelling
activities
a
associated pattern related to Change the article
an
crime
scene. Add an article
the crime
a crime
Second
proactive step to mitigate Correct article usage
The second
that
growth in criminal rate includes some relevant teaching and training programs for all children around the country.Those programs may consist of Correct determiner usage
the
the
psychological sessions to emphasize the importance of moral Correct article usage
apply
values
particularly
honesty.The children may have Add the comma(s)
, particularly
case-studies
and simulations to experience some challenging situations.Correct your spelling
case studies
Consequently
, the
Correct article usage
apply
pyschologists
may guide the kids and recommend the certain Correct your spelling
psychologists
psychologist
according to
how to act at difficult times ,while
having respect to
others’ Change preposition
for
personality
and without giving harm to any Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
properties
.
To summarize, the family background and lack of moral Fix the agreement mistake
property
values
have major
effect Add an article
a major
over
the increasing number of Change preposition
on
crime
scenes ,while
the courts may implement the investigation of criminals’ families and government
may provide Correct article usage
the government
the
teaching programs associated with moral Correct article usage
apply
values
to kids in order to prevent criminal activites
.Correct your spelling
activities
activity
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coherence cohesion
The overall structure is good, but the essay would benefit from clearer paragraphing and transitions. Try to make the flow of ideas more seamless.
task achievement
Some sentences are difficult to understand due to grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Aim for clarity and simplicity in your sentence construction.
task achievement
Consider providing more detailed and relevant examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make your ideas more convincing.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task effectively, identifying both causes of crime and suggesting measures to prevent it.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and adequately frame the essay. This helps in maintaining a clear structure.
task achievement
Examples given, such as the statistics from Chicago, are relevant and support the main points of the essay well.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...