The chart below shows information about Heart Attacks by Age and Gender in USA. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. • You should •
This
bar chart depicts the status of the Linking Words
Heart
Attacks Use synonyms
due to
one year in Linking Words
USA
, divided Correct article usage
the USA
according to
the gender (Linking Words
men
and Use synonyms
women
) and the Use synonyms
age
groups (29-44, 45-64, 65+). At first sight, it's seen Use synonyms
explisitly
, that Correct your spelling
explicitly
men
are suffering from Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
heart
attacks more than Use synonyms
women
, and for Use synonyms
them
it's a very young disease.
Add a comma
them,
Firstly
, in the youngest Linking Words
age
group, 29-44, there are almost a Use synonyms
men
alone, 123 Use synonyms
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
of
Change preposition
apply
men
and only 3 Use synonyms
thousands
of Use synonyms
women
who have a Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
medicine
problem.
Replace the word
medical
Secondly
, in the Linking Words
age
group of 45-64, we can see Use synonyms
the
rapid increase Correct article usage
a
of
Change preposition
in
number
of patients with infarction in both genders - 424 Change the article
a number
the number
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
of
Change preposition
apply
men
and 136 Use synonyms
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
of
Change preposition
apply
women
.
In the third Use synonyms
group
we can see an interesting Add a comma
group,
phenomen
. The amount of Correct your spelling
phenomenon
phenomena
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
men
, who suffer from Use synonyms
Use synonyms
heart
Add an article
a heart
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
problem
, Fix the agreement mistake
problems
Correct subject-verb agreement
remains
remain
Correct subject-verb agreement
remains
Correct your spelling
stable
staible
, without significant changes (440 Correct your spelling
stable
Use synonyms
thousands
), but the number of Change to singular
thousand
Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
women
patients Use synonyms
grows
Wrong verb form
grew
Change preposition
by
up
Change preposition
by
Change preposition
to almost
almost
three hold and Change preposition
to almost
Correct subject-verb agreement
achieves
achieve
Correct subject-verb agreement
achieves
Correct article usage
a
the
huge number of 374 Correct article usage
a
Use synonyms
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
thousands
Correct your spelling
thousand
Change preposition
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
a cases
.
In conclusion, we can see, that Correct the article-noun agreement
cases
a case
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
men
have to pay a lot of attention to their Use synonyms
heart
health from Use synonyms
the
very young Correct article usage
a
age
, and Use synonyms
women
have much more free time - up to Use synonyms
their
Change the word
the
age
Use synonyms
45
.Change preposition
of 45
Submitted by anastasia on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words heart, men, women, age, thousands with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼